Cub Scouts and brotherly love

I told the boys I was posting this picture for the Grandma's, but it's really just to show off the fact that I finally got around to sewing their badges on...and now I'm behind again.

Tonight Caleb earned his Bobcat, and Brayden got his Bear. I will never understand why the Mom has to paint their faces, or why we have to cheer by pretending to spit out watermelon seeds, but the boys had fun. Having been a den leader for a year, I can more fully appreciate all that their leaders do.

And here is a picture of poor Dillon, anxiously waiting for his boys to come home from school. Tomorrow is the last day of the school year, and Dilly couldn't be happier. I, on the other hand, could use another week to finish de-junking and organizing before having the kids home all day long.

I Can Totally Believe It's Not Butter!

I've never thanked all of you for your comments and e-mails with low-fat food idea's and recipes...so thank you!

For the most part, it's not so bad. The things that I miss the most are eggs, cheese, ground beef, and butter.

Someone left this stuff in my fridge after Caleb's baptism, and I have to say, it doesn't taste anything like butter.

If you look at the "nutritional information" on the back, you'll find that there's zero calories, zero fat, zero cholesterol, zero everything. So my question is: What is IN this stuff?

I was surprised to discover that breakfast is the hardest meal for me. I've never been able to eat a bowl of cereal in the morning without feeling sick later on, so before this diet I would usually eat eggs, or leftovers. I can't eat fruit in the morning, either. I'm not a fan of yogurt (too sweet for me), so breakfast has been interesting. For some reason, oatmeal doesn't make me feel sick like cereal, so I eat a lot of oatmeal...but I worry because it's pretty high on some of the lists I've seen for foods that aggravate gall bladders. Weird, huh?

Does anyone out there have any idea's for breakfast that are low-fat AND low sugar? I can eat fruit or cereal if I balance it out with some kind of protein or vegetable, but it's hard to get excited about broccoli, shrimp, or kidney beans at 7:00 in the morning!

Randomness

I quilted my bum off this week.

Well, not literally.

I checked, and my unfortunately my bum is still there.

But this post is not supposed to be about my bum, so I'll move on.

I quilted four quilts in the past week and a half. It's been awhile since I've done that many in such a short time. I let the house fall apart and just worked away.

Todd left for the weekend on a trail ride for work. My mom always taught me that when the cat's away, the mice should play, so that's what we did. When the kids got home from school on Friday, I took some of my quilting money, loaded the kids in the van, and drove an hour and 15 minutes away to a quilt shop to buy some fabric to sew for the baby. The kids weren't too happy about spending two hours in a quilt shop, so I took them to Denney's on the way home for a baseball pancake. It made everything better.

On Saturday, I sewed all day while the boys played Wii 'til their brains were sufficiently fried.

I made a carseat "tent", 8 burp rags out of flannel and terry-cloth, and an "owl softie" from a pattern I saw online. I just about started another quilt, but I ended up taking a nap instead.

As much fun as I had sewing for the baby, there were several times where I got teary-eyed thinking about my sister, and my friend, who both had miscarriages this week. My heart hurts for them.

In other news, Todd took a truckload to the dump this week, and when he arrived, the guy who works there said, "Aren't you done hauling junk yet?"

In our defense, more than half of the loads we've taken to the dump were stuff that was already in our house/yard when we moved here, and leftover building scraps from our various house projects. But...it's still embarrassing to realize that we're single handedly filling up the town dump.

I spent some of my birthday money on some new curtain panels for my livingroom. They are not exactly what I wanted, but they matched the couch and they were on clearance so I decided to hang one and live with it for a few days to see if I really want to keep them. Todd just announced that he knows where he's seen them before. They were in the Sound of Music, and Maria made clothes for the kids out of them.

The curtains will be returned to K-mart tomorrow.

I had a gall bladder attack this week...after barely eating any fat for over two weeks. My doctor called me the next evening and told me that if it happens again I should probably see a surgeon. I've only got three days left before it's too late to have the laproscopic surgery, so I will likely spend the summer on my fat-free diet, nursing my gallbladder along through any attacks and waiting for the baby to arrive so I can have the surgery.

My friends keep pointing out how great the weight loss will be from not eating any fat, but I have to say...the weight loss doesn't make up for the pain. I am anxious to be gallbladderless. I did cheat yesterday and had french fries (it was all because of my Heinz ketchup withdrawals), and never had any pain afterwards...but sometimes it'll hurt like the dickens when all I've eaten is rice, zucchini, and tomatoes.

I had a moment of absolute panic this week when I realized that school was almost out for the year, and I was going to have to feed my kids lunch all summer. Heaven help my food budget. I can't even fathom what it's going to cost to feed four teenage boys someday.

And on that note, I think I'll take my bum to bed.

Happy Mother's Day!

My friend, Mindy, posted this quote on our Apron Girl's blog and I just loved it:

"I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.

I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden. I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived."


— Marjorie Pay Hinckley

I am lucky enough to have TWO wonderful mother's, who not only give the kind of service that Sister Hinckley talked about, but they ALSO have expertly coiffed hair AND perfectly manicured fingernails :o)

I have a lot to live up to.

Today I want my Mom to know how thankful I am for her testimony of the gospel. I have spent a lot of time pondering what it is that my Mom "did right" in raising our family, and I truly believe that the most important thing she did for me, is to set the example of reading her scriptures and saying her personal prayers...every single day. Every morning, she would sit in her favorite chair and read her scriptures, and every night, she would lock herself in the bathroom (because it was the only place she could be alone), and pray.

Like the sons of Helaman, I can say "we do not doubt that our mother's knew it". When times were hard as a teenager, I always knew that my mom had an unwavering testimony, and she taught by example that turning to the Lord could help me through any trial.

Thank you, Mom, for your example. I hope that I can pass this legacy on, and that my children will someday be able to say, "we doubt not that our mother knew it".

I call my Mom nearly every day. I rarely have anything important to say, and our conversations are never long, but she is my friend, and I don't know what I'd do without her. Sometimes just hearing her voice makes the day go better.

One of the best parts of growing up and getting married, is to get ANOTHER mother. Today I want Linda to know how thankful I am for her example and friendship. One of the things that I admire most about her, is how interested she is (and has always been) in the lives of her kids' friends. They love her like they do their own mother! When we talk, she often asks about my friends, by name, and wants to know how they're doing. Her service is given daily, in just talking to people with a smile, and letting them know that they are loved.

I want to be like that. I want my kids to be able to bring their friends home and know that I care...and that I want them in our home.

Thank you, Linda, for your example. It will not come easily to me, but I hope that I can be a friend to my children's friends. Thank you for listening to me when you probably have better things to do. And thank you for raising such a wonderful son, who makes me happy, honors his priesthood, and respects me. I am thrilled to soon have four little boys, who can look up to their father's wonderful example. I will make sure they know the part that you played.

If I could write a letter to me...

If I could write a letter to me,

And send it back in time to myself at 17:

To my seventeen year old self,

This is going to be a great year for you. You'll have a great time serving on the Seminary Council, and finally have the group of friends you've always wanted. Don't worry about not getting asked to Prom...you have the greatest guy in your future. This is the year that, after being inspired by a Jack Weyland novel, you'll start to pray for your future husband...wherever he is. What you don't know is that he's on his mission right now, and having a difficult time with problems at home. He needs those prayers now more than ever.

To my eighteen year old self,

You are just weeks away from your high school graduation. You made the right choice by choosing Rick's College, and even though you don't want to leave home...you know it's the best thing for you. You'll make friends while you're there that you'll still keep in touch with 15 years down the road. Try to get some sleep. You'll be happier if you get to bed before midnight at least once a week. When you make that list of qualities you want in your future husband...write it on a nicer piece of paper, and not with a pink pen. You're being inspired, and in 15 years you'll still have it...torn corner and all.

To my nineteen year old self,

I told you you'd love school. Now that you're home for the summer you'll call your roommates every day because you miss them. You'll have your first real job working as a prep cook in your friends' dad's restaurant. Remember to pay tithing on your GROSS check amount, 'cause when you have to make it all up at the end of the summer it will pinch. Being in the Relief Society presidency is going to take a lot more work than you realize. You'll have no idea what you're doing, but try to learn from your mistakes. You'll meet your future husband this year, but it will take you awhile to realize it's him. Don't tell your roommate she can "have him" 'cause you're going to change your mind in about two weeks, and it's not worth the stress.

To my twenty year old self,

Things are gonna move REAL fast in the next few weeks, so be prepared. That boy who you called an "honorary roommate" 'cause he was always hanging around, is gonna follow you home to Cache Valley after graduation. You'll see each other every day without revealing your feelings, and then after officially dating for ONE WEEK you'll talk marriage. Within the month you'll be engaged, and you'll wonder if you've made the right choice. He's not the man you always imagined marrying. He's shy, like you. Don't worry, you won't end up hermits. Read that inspired list you wrote during your first year of college. Not only does this man have every quality on your list, but you'll realize that they are actually his talents. He will make you happier than you have ever imagined possible. Make sure that he's in the family picture that gets taken on Memorial Day, even though he hasn't even kissed you yet and you're not 100% sure he's fully committed. Your family will never let you live it down.

Get your nails done and a new pair of shoes for your wedding. You only get married once. Also, when you're on your honeymoon and find out the Sea Lion caves cost $13, don't pass it up because you're afraid of spending the money. Write down the name of that little restaurant by the sea so you can go back again someday.

To my twenty-one year old self:

This is the year that you will learn what faith means. You'll learn through your miscarriages that the atonement is not only for sin, but also for sorrow. You WILL be a mother someday. Start making Family Home Evening lessons and do everything you can to prepare for that time. It will take your mind off of things. Pay off your car, and try to save a little money while you're working 'cause your budget balances better now than it will when Todd's done with school.

To my twenty-two year old self:

You're dying to wear maternity clothes, but just enjoy how small you still are at 14 weeks pregnant. The day will come when you will wish to be that small again. This is one of the best years of your life. You'll finally become a mother, and when Christmas rolls around you will realize that you don't even want anything because you already have it all.

To my twenty-three year old self:

Don't be stressed about buying a van from your aunt and uncle. It's going to come in handy a lot sooner than you realize. When you're feeling a little carsick on Mt. St. Helen's and joke to Todd that you must be pregnant...you are. Quit nursing, and get ready for number two. Your feelings that you need to move to Logan are really promptings, even though it doesn't make sense. When Todd doesn't get into the MFT program, don't stress. He'll get in as an alternate, and eventually become a pretty great therapist, despite what one of his professors might think. Believe in him, and be a support for him. He is an amazing man, and is going to put up with a lot in the next couple of years.

To my twenty-four year old self:

DO NOT TRY TO RUN FASTER THAN YOU HAVE STRENGTH! Life with two kids is not supposed to be this hard...you're making it this hard. You do not have to work at home as an artist for 20 hours a week, AND teach preschool two days a week, AND babysit kids three days a week. I know you think you have to do it for the money, but you're literally going to drive yourself crazy, and 15 years from now it will be your biggest regret. See a doctor, take your medicine, and get better. Just when you think you can't make it another day, you'll discover quilting, and you'll "find yourself" again.

When Caleb has his first seizure, try to stay calm. When you have to call 911 for the first time in your life, try to stay calm. He's going to be okay.

Oh, and your calling as nursery coordinator over five nurseries will not last forever. Try not to leave church crying every Sunday.

To my twenty-five year old self:

This is the year you will take a huge leap and start your own business. You'll have to put both cars down as collateral to buy a $15,000 quilting machine, and everyone around you will think you're crazy. You might be a little crazy, but this really is a prompting and a blessing from Heavenly Father, and you CAN do it.

To my twenty-six year old self:

Being the secretary to the Relief Society presidency in a very transient ward is going to take a LOT more of your time than you think. Some weeks up to 20 hours, but it's all worth it. Losing yourself in service is the best thing you can do right now. Don't be afraid to talk about your experience with post-partum depression. When you finally open up and talk about it, you'll be amazed how much it helps to find out that some of your friends have had the same struggles, and you'll be able to help them as well.

Don't be afraid to get pregnant again. There is a precious little boy waiting to come to your family with freckles and puppy-dog eyes that will melt your heart.

Don't bother planning a birthday party for Brayden's fourth birthday, because you'll be in the hospital having your appendix out. Oh, and don't let Todd try to tell you the pain is gas :o)

To my twenty-seven year old self:

This is the year you'll officially lose the last part of your brain. They tell you it's a placenta, but it's really just a piece of your brain. Don't tell yourself that the weight will come off when you finish nursing, because it won't this time. Try to get to water aerobics a little more often.

You'll know the day that Dillon is born that there is another baby that needs to come to your family...but you'll be surprised at how long it will take. Enjoy the baby stage, and pass those clothes on when you're finished. You don't have enough room to store them for the next five years anyway.

Even though everyone tells you that Brayden's issues are "just a stage" remember what you learned in school, and the promptings you have. Brayden does have Asperger's Syndrome, and there ARE things that can help.

To my twenty-eight year old self:

This will be one of your hardest years. Todd will graduate, and his first job prospect will fall through. You'll end up living with your parents for four months, not four weeks, so don't put all the boys' summer clothes in storage...you'll need them. When you go to Washington in May, take a little extra time talking to your father-in-law.

Don't turn down the job in Loa just because of where it is on the map. You really can survive in the middle of nowhere, and you'll make great friends there.

You'll get to this new place, have a month to settle in, and discover your father-in-law has cancer. Eight weeks and two trips to Washington later, he'll be gone, and life will never be the same. Remember to call your own dad a little more often, while you still can.

To my twenty-nine year old self:

This is another hard year. You'll discover that living with a spouse who is struggling with depression is harder than dealing with it yourself. Give him a hug for all the times that he put up with you. Things at Todd's work will get downright ugly. The turnover will be huge, the hours horrific, and you'll wonder if you made the right choice in moving here. You did. Things will get better, but it's going to take awhile. You'll have a third miscarriage this year that will leave you feeling like you're not yourself for many months. Remember that trials come for a reason, and try to look for the good.

To my thirty year old self:

You'll have another miscarriage this year, and start to wonder if you can really put yourself through pregnancy again. Just remember that feeling that there is someone else waiting to come to your family. This time, your hormones will be thrown "back into whack" and you'll start to feel like yourself again. Look for the funny things in life. Laughing can cure a lot.

To my thirty-one year old self:

Another year, and another pregnancy. You'll be sick for 20 weeks this time. Just be grateful to be pregnant.

Don't worry so much about the little things. Your kids are good kids, and your best is all you can do...and all that Heavenly Father expects. Just because your mom never had a mis-matched sock come out of the laundry (and you have NONE that match) it doesn't mean you're a failure. Even though your thyroid is within the normal range (barely), take the medication anyway because it is going to help SO much. You might even start to get your brain back. Have family scripture study in the morning. You'll be amazed at how much better it works, and the spirit it will bring to your home. Enjoy the fact that your kids love the scriptures.

And now I'm off to my Superman birthday party. Todd and the boys are making French toast (using egg beaters instead of eggs to cut down the fat).

I'm a lucky girl.

Dillon's preschool graduation, Mom turns 32, and Caleb hits the pavement

My baby graduated from preschool this morning,

on my 32nd birthday.

I feel old.

He stood before the crowd and bravely

told everyone that his favorite color was blue.

I got 6 seconds of video, showing Dillon throwing a beach ball

back and forth with Ms. Cheryl:

While I was waiting for the graduation to begin,

I got pulled into the hall by the school secretary,

because Caleb took a nosedive into the pavement while running the mile.

He is currently waiting for his Tylenol to kick in,

and hopefully he'll make it back to school in time

to finish his end-of-year testing.

Dilly Rob and his boys

Here are a few "funnies" from the past week or so:

While eating after-school snack the other day, Dillon said, "Taywub, you awe stiffnetted" translation: Caleb, you are stiffnecked.

Last Sunday, the boys were sitting at the kitchen table making books. Dillon asked Caleb how to spell a word. I don't know what the word was, but lets say it was Horsey-horse (his Webkinz horse). Caleb, thinking he would be funny, told him to spell it M-O-R-O-N. Brayden thought it was wildly funny, and poor Dillon had his feelings hurt when he found out why "his boys" were laughing. At first I was mad and put the older boys in time out, but thinking about it the next day, I had to admit that Caleb's quick-wit was a *tiny* bit funny :o)

This morning, Todd and I slept in, and when we woke up we could hear all three boys, playing with the Little People farm in Dillon's room. We thought it was funny that they were playing with "baby" toys, and then I heard Dillon sing "Somebody sa-ve me" (which is the theme song from Smallville). Apparently they were playing Superman with that red barn, and apparently Todd and I need to watch "our show" a little later at night...AFTER the boys are completely asleep :o)

(If you're not familiar with the show, you can click on my sidebar on the left to hear the theme song. In Smallville, Clark Kent is your typical "corn-fed farm boy" and many scenes take place in a big red barn where he likes to hang out)