Lunch

This is a must-watch video! This lady had five kids in four years, and she made a time-lapse video of herself--feeding her kids their lunch. Every mother out there will understand.

Our latest family picture

Dillon drew this picture of our family..."Wimpy Kid" style.

While he was drawing it, he pointed to the top of his head

and asked me if he had any hairs sticking up.

He is by far our most observant child...

Which became even more obvious when he pointed out

"the part that feeds the baby".

Say what??

Last week I went to my six week postpartum check-up.

I was lying on the table, holding onto my beloved sheet, when Dr. Heath started coming at me with the "duck bill" tool.

As he got closer he said, "Do you mind if we take a picture today?"

I must have had a puzzled look because there was a moment of silence before he continued "...of you, me, and the baby?"

And I replied, in a relieved voice, "I wasn't sure what you wanted a picture of!"

I received a copy of the picture in the mail today:

As I look at it I can't help but be grateful for technology. For my thyroid medicine that I think may have prevented another miscarriage. For a vehicle that allowed me to travel 2 1/2 hours away to deliver with an OB/GYN. For the blood tests that monitored my platelet count. For the knowledge that a low-fat diet would ease my gall bladder trouble. For the ultrasound that showed me that faint heartbeat at six weeks along. For the epidural that allowed me to rest so I didn't have to begin this new journey completely exhausted. And for a webcam, a laptop, and wireless internet that allowed us to introduce our boys to their new baby brother from miles away.

An elderly couple in my ward recently saw me with Justin and asked, "What have you got there?"

And I replied, "I've got a miracle."

And I truly believe it.

Small town karaoke

Since we have a newborn, we haven't been able to participate much in fair week. But, when I found out that Nate (our cousin) was going to enter the karaoke competition, there was no way I was going to miss it!

So last night we bundled up the baby, and headed to the park for some entertainment. I told Nate that I brought my newborn out for this, so it had better be good. He didn't disappoint, and neither did their daughter, Jackie. She was a riot, out dancing on the stage through several performances. Here she is as part of the line dance competition:

And here's her Lady Gaga dance

And here's Nate, doing his Louis Armstrong impression. He took second place and got $75! We're pretty excited to have him here. He's the new music teacher for grades 6-12. School hasn't even started yet, but he's been out recruiting (with cookies) and has already quadrupled the size of our band. :o)

Yes, he did need a glass of water after that...

Dead End (or numb bum)

My dear Aunt Hollie just posted this comment on my previous post:

"We want to pray for your early delivery, BUT then we would miss out on more of the flip-side of your wit which warms our hearts."

Perhaps I should put things into perspective, and maybe you will pray for an early delivery for Todd's sake.

I'm trying really hard to find the humor in my situation (can you tell?) because I know that I am truly blessed to be a mother, and to be carrying this baby to term.

But...(or should I say butt?) My rear-end is killing me, and I am convinced that this baby is never coming out. So, if you'll please pray for an early delivery, I promise to do my best to be witty after his arrival.

In my quest to find a reason to smile today, I have prepared a multiple choice pop quiz, to help any men out there who may end up in Todd's position.

(by the way, Todd took the live version, and failed. I hope you do better)

1. When your wife is 37-38 weeks pregnant, and she was up all night having contractions that didn't do anything, and then she couldn't nap in the daytime because of heartburn/reflux, and the pain in her nether quarters causes her to waddle like a duck (at the speed of a snail), and 42 people have recently asked her "How much longer?", and in despair she says to you, "I can't do this for two more weeks." you:

(a) remind her that she doesn't have any choice, and the baby isn't ready yet.

(b) correct her by saying that she actually has three weeks to go, not two.

(c) explain that it's really better if the baby comes on it's due date because it will make things more convenient for you at work.

(d) tell her that she is not rational.

(e) realize that she is not rational, but ignore that fact and gently brush her hair with your hand and tell her you're sorry she is hurting and ask what you can do to help.

I think you can probably figure out the right answer. Just know that if you get it wrong, you may end up hearing a few not-so-choice words.

Seriously. You'd think a therapist would know better...

*For those who are curious...Todd chose all of the above, but didn't get around to (e) until he had first tried a, b, c, and d, and heard a few of those not-so-choice words.

Pillows

When I made our bed today, I just had to stand back and laugh.

Todd has two pillows.

I have five.

And one more that's not even on the bed.

My gall bladder functions so slowly that it takes me 3-4 times longer than normal to digest. I've figured out that if I sleep sitting up, and NEVER on my right side, I can avoid most attacks.

But poor Todd has to sleep in a bed full of pillows. He HATES beds full of pillows. Have you seen that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond? That's us.

I just thought it should be documented. He's a good man.

We have an air conditioner in our bedroom window for the summer, and it has been a lifesaver. Most nights it's on high, and I sometimes bother to pull up my sheet, but most of the time I go without covers.

Todd sleeps with our bedspread doubled and stays bundled up to keep warm.

Ah, pregnancy.

Graves Mythology

I mentioned in my last post that we are all about Greek Mythology at our house. Grandma let Brayden borrow the Percy Jackson series while we were visiting for Memorial Day. The size of the books was overwhelming to him, but he started anyway.

He read them all by June, and now Caleb is reading them as well.

We rented the movie a few days after it came out, and watched it as a family.

The next day, I asked the boys what their name would be if they were Greek God's. This is what we came up with for our family:

Todd- Therapes, the God of Mental Illness

Using his Sigmund Freud Magic 8 ball, he'll either fix your head, or give you Schizophrenia.

Felicia- Prozacia or Celexia, the Goddess of Hormones

Using my slingshot and pills, I'll make the men pregnant...

Brayden- Intelligon, the God of Knowledge and Facts

Using nothing more than words, he'll make you feel like you should go back to school.

(Fact: There are over 1000 species of bats. Fruit bats pollinate...)

(Here Jackie, I drew you a picture of a Vampire Squid.)

Caleb- Empathes, the God of Friendship

By sharing and playing fair, he'll make friends with anyone. Should you choose not to play fair, he'll attack by whining that will require the patience of Job.

Dillon- Hershius, the God of...Chocolate

Using his laserlike puppy dog eyes, he'll melt every vegetable on the planet into chocolate.

Dilly Rob and his boys

Here are a few "funnies" from the past week or so:

While eating after-school snack the other day, Dillon said, "Taywub, you awe stiffnetted" translation: Caleb, you are stiffnecked.

Last Sunday, the boys were sitting at the kitchen table making books. Dillon asked Caleb how to spell a word. I don't know what the word was, but lets say it was Horsey-horse (his Webkinz horse). Caleb, thinking he would be funny, told him to spell it M-O-R-O-N. Brayden thought it was wildly funny, and poor Dillon had his feelings hurt when he found out why "his boys" were laughing. At first I was mad and put the older boys in time out, but thinking about it the next day, I had to admit that Caleb's quick-wit was a *tiny* bit funny :o)

This morning, Todd and I slept in, and when we woke up we could hear all three boys, playing with the Little People farm in Dillon's room. We thought it was funny that they were playing with "baby" toys, and then I heard Dillon sing "Somebody sa-ve me" (which is the theme song from Smallville). Apparently they were playing Superman with that red barn, and apparently Todd and I need to watch "our show" a little later at night...AFTER the boys are completely asleep :o)

(If you're not familiar with the show, you can click on my sidebar on the left to hear the theme song. In Smallville, Clark Kent is your typical "corn-fed farm boy" and many scenes take place in a big red barn where he likes to hang out)

Here's the proof

I had red hair once:

And just because I know you all need a good laugh today, here's my baby picture from the hospital. The only editing I did was to add the words.

I'm a little worried at the thought of having a girl...

Small town livin...

I went to the grocery store this afternoon to see what the deli was serving for lunch. Monday is supposed to be Italian, but it was Chinese...'cause they never follow the schedule. I decided to have the chicken lo mein, but I had a few other things I needed, and decided to get my lunch last so it would still be warm when I got home.

By the time I got back around to the deli counter, I was in the back of the longest line I've ever seen in this county (except for the annual demolition derby). The man in front of me, Mark, offered to let me go ahead of him, but I told him I was just fine.

And then it happened.

Mark got the last serving of chicken lo mein.

My heart hung heavy as I got up to the counter and ordered plain old rice.

I came home and promptly e-mailed Todd, cursing Mark for taking the last of the lo mein, and he promptly e-mailed me back saying he'd be happy to "bust him up" for me, if only he weren't a former navy seal.

Just as I took my first bite of rice, there was a knock at the door, and my friend Julie (whose husband came home teaching last night) stood there with a container of soup and a loaf of artisan bread.

Cue the "Hallelujah Chorus".

Thanks for lunch, Julie. It was much appreciated. Todd thanks you too, 'cause he's no match for a navy seal.

Later in the day, I stopped at the bank to make a deposit before taking Caleb to basketball practice. I only had one kid in the van, but look what we got:

Three suckers. Because Sister Duella knows me, and knows that I have three kids. I can't stop smiling about it.

We showed up to basketball practice, and the door was locked. Candi was there with her son, and made a few phone calls to see if anyone knew what was going on. No need for a phone book...everybody knows each other's phone numbers here.

Todd had just informed me that the coach and his family were in California today, so I rolled down my window and told Candi that unless he'd gotten a substitute, there probably wouldn't be any practice.

That was fine with me, because Brayden had an "off day" and decided to stay home. At least this way he wasn't missing his practice.

We got home, and I asked Caleb to bring in the garbage can. A minute later we heard screaming (mixed with laughter) and ran outside to this:

We never shovel our driveway since it's not paved, and apparently it's gotten a bit slippery. Luckily he was not hurt at all, and we all got a good laugh.

The neighbors were probably laughing too.

A very cheesy party

I won't mince words here. Morale has been low in our house for the past few days. The kids are tired of Mom being sick. Todd, though relieved that I am sick, is tired of the extra chores he's had to do, and I just can't wait to put away the darn Christmas tree.

Caleb got sick in the night, so he and I stayed home from church today. Thankfully, he's been fine all day and the two of us devised a silly little party to raise everyone's spirits.

It started when we took the Stouffer's 5-cheese Lasagna out of the freezer. Caleb and I read through the ingredients to see which five cheeses were included, and discovered that there were actually SIX cheeses in our lasagna...and an idea was born.

We decided to have a contest over dinner, to see if anyone could guess the cheeses. We made a list of all the cheeses we could think of, and made a copy for each person so they could circle their answers.

We then made a centerpiece out of the lasagna box lid, and our cheese grater and slicer. We served "Cheese-It" crackers for an appetizer, and finished off by using a pair of scissors to make "swiss cheese napkins". We briefly considered using grated cheese for confetti on the table, but I thought about it melting and decided against it. Nobody guessed the cheeses right, but we had an enjoyable family dinner, which ended (and I'm not kidding here) when someone "cut the cheese".

If you'd like to make a guess as to which six cheeses are in this five cheese lasagna, here's the multiple choice quiz:

Swiss
Colby
Ricotta
Mozzarella
Cheddar
Parmesan
Bleu
Feta
Cottage cheese
Gouda
Romano
Asiago
Monterrey Jack
Provalone
Meunster

May the big cheese win.

And, for old times sake, enjoy the Cheese Roll Call:

Yee-haw!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

It's not snowman snow...

We rarely get the kind of snow you need to build snowmen here. It's just too dry and powdery. Our first storm of the year was perfect snowman snow, but Dillon had preschool that day, and by the time he got home, it had all melted.

His eyes sparkled when he saw the snow this morning. When he got home from preschool, I asked him if it was "snowman snow", and he sadly told me it was not.

A few minutes later, however, he came in with his gloves on and said, "Mom, I don't care if it's not snowman snow. I'm going to make a dead snowman."

I helped him get his coat on, and he insisted that he needed a pickle for the nose. I have plenty of carrots in the fridge, but he was determined to use a pickle.

Ten minutes later we had this wonderful dead snowman in our yard:



Oh, and let me tell you about the kid-sized snowshovel. It's hands down the best purchase I have ever made. Our kids fight over who gets to shovel the steps. Next time we pass by Smith and Edwards, I will most definitely be purchasing two more!

I know it's early, but under the circumstances...

I have decided that I would like a Superman Party for my birthday.

I know, I know. My birthday is not until May, and Superman is science fiction. It is common knowledge that Felicia doesn't "do" science fiction.

But...I have two words for you.

tom. welling.

I recently discovered Smallville. I wasn't too thrilled about it at first, but there's just enough "love story" to keep my interest, and plenty of action for Todd. It's the perfect show for us to watch together. We're not even finished with season one, but I'm hooked.

I love that Superman came from a good family, and that there's an example of that on TV these days.

And I love that it takes place in the middle of nowhere.

And oh, how I love that smile.

So, Pianoman and Violadiva, if you happen to run into tom at the grocery store, would you please tell him that his presence has been requested at my birthday party in May?

Homemade Motivational Posters

I was going through my picture files today, and found these posters I made over the summer. If anyone out there has just the right picture, it could be a fun Christmas gift idea.

I had this one printed for Todd's office. He shows The Karate Kid to his students at work to teach the "wax on, wax off" concept, as well as "balance".

This one's my favorite:

Every father should remember that one day his son will follow his example and not his advice.

In protest of the first snowfall...

Popcorn balls and rust

We made popcorn balls yesterday.

We made them the same as you would for Rice Krispie Treats, except you add 3 Tbsp. dry Jello powder, and you use popcorn rather than Krispies.

They were a hit.

Dillon got to see the air popper "fwow up" for the first time ever and he squealed with delight. No more microwave popcorn at our house.

My favorite part of the whole experience was while the balls were cooling, and Dillon asked,

"Can I have a popcorn ball that smells so sweet?"

He melts my heart. And he got all the sweet popcorn balls he wanted.

*********************

The other day, I took my apple corer/peeler/slicer out of the dish drainer and noticed that it had some rust on it. I commented about it, and Brayden knowingly said,

"Yeah...iron and oxygen will do that."

And then it hit me. I am not smarter than a third grader.

I hope it doesn't come to this...

Our laptop is dead.

It has a hardware problem.

It's not even a year old.

We can't find the receipt.

I am grateful to have another computer downstairs...

But I still miss the laptop.

I'm STILL working on my re-arranging project. It was interrupted by a trip to Wal-Mart on Saturday, and then by keeping the Sabbath, and then the biggest mound of laundry I've ever seen appeared yesterday...and today. And then there's quilting, and visiting teaching (does anyone else visit teach FIVE sisters?), and dinnner, and dishes, and the list never ends.
Maybe I'll get my house in order today...and then again, maybe I won't.

I guess it will all still be there tomorrow :o)

Todd just announced that he is engaging in Kashi warfare, so I'm off to eat my bowl of cereal (with 8 grams of fiber per serving...)

That's our boy...

Today was our last day of soccer. I am a terrible mother and didn't take a single picture, but it's been a great season.

Caleb scored his first goal a couple weeks ago, and he's still talking about it. Soccer has since become his FAVORITE game.

We discovered that Dillon got all the athletic ability in our family. He can kick the ball while running, and he's not the least bit scared to hit the ball with his head (even though he's terrified of the wind). This season he just practiced with a ball on the sidelines, but next year we'll definitely put him on a team.

Brayden pulled off the move of the century this morning. He was playing defender, and in usual Brayden fashion, got distracted and bored, and laid down flat on the grass to watch the clouds.
The other team was kicking the ball towards our team's goal, and Todd started yelling at Brayden to get up. Brayden raised his head to see what was going on, just in time for the ball to bounce off of his head, which blocked the goal, and his team won for the first time.

It was a perfect ending to the season.

Bad Hair Bonsai

Once upon a time, my dear, bonsai loving husband brought home this cute pony-tail palm. I loved the curliness of the leaves. It made me smile every time I looked at it.

And then the tree grew...

...into this monstrosity that sits in my kitchen window
and growls at me while I wash the dishes.

It needs a haircut.

And a perm.

I told Todd he needed to do something with it, and he said he'd take care of it on the day that he took care of my beloved apple branch.

CHAPTER TWO

Last night, I had the kids bring in a load of wood to light our first fire of the season, but I got busy and never started the fire. When Todd got home, I told him about forgetting to light the fire, and he took one look at the wood pile and mocked me, saying: "What were you going to use to keep that fire going? Those logs are too big. You need some smaller pieces."

And without missing a beat I replied,
"I could chop down the ponytail palm..."

And he shut up.
And we lived sarcastically ever after.
The end.