Amazing

I think in the past I have taken this process for granted, but this time, I just can't get over the miracle of this baby growing inside me.

I had my appointment on Saturday, and to my surprise, the doctor did another ultrasound. I certainly wasn't going to complain! Everything looked good. The baby was squirming around, and the boys got to see it. I wish I had a picture of the boys' faces. They were grinning from ear to ear, and afterwards Dillon said, "Our baby waved at us".

Six Weeks:

Eight Weeks:
Eleven Weeks:

The baby is supposed to double in length this week. It's just amazing to me that a few weeks ago we had a "blob of cells" and now we have a baby with fingers, toes, a beating heart, and the ability to move around and even swallow.

Birth is truly a miracle.

Colored Cookie Sprinkles

I discovered something the other day and thought I'd share. My kids were decorating sugar cookies for Halloween, and they wanted orange sprinkles but we didn't have any.

I did have plain white (large grain) sugar sprinkles, so I put a couple Tbsp. in a ziplock baggie, and added a few drops of food coloring. I squished the bag around and in a few seconds I had orange sprinkles.

I just spread them out on a plate to dry for a minute, and then the kids sprinkled them on the cookies. It worked great, and was cheaper and faster than running to the store for another container of sprinkles.

39 things every mom should know

My sister posted this on her blog and I had to copy it because I loved it so much. Although I'm still gonna go all out for birthdays, as long as they are just with our family. My favorite is number 13 and it's so appropriate for this week...

39 Things Every Mom Should Knowby Kacy Faulconer, Parents Sept. 2009, pg 64

When it comes to raising children, everyone's an expert. Your kids won't be little forever, so enjoy them! Wow, that was helpful. Thanks. But here's something very specific to enjoy about your little kids: They don't know what you're actually up to--so savor it while it lasts. When they get older they notice when you burn food or fall asleep at the school play. But with a toddler you can eat frosting out of a can while watching Blue's Clues adn the kid will never bat an eye-- or judge you for it. Want more unsolicited but totally honest advice from a mom of four kids ages 1 to 11? Of course you do.

1. You never have to go to obnoxious kid-themed restaurants. Ever. I wish someone had told me that.

2. Don't make birthday parties a huge deal.

3. Do your chores while kids are awake. Using up naptime to wash dishes or clean the bathroom is truly soul-crushing.

4. Put Band-Aids on everything your kids want you to. Why not?

5. If the kids are awake, bite the bullet and be awake yourself. You'll waste so many hours trying futilely to extend early-morning snoozes that it's not worth it. If you are sick, pregnant, or it's the middle of the night, ignore this advice.

6. Just throw away the poopy underwear.

7. Don't beat yourself up if you have to use a bribe.

8. Teach your kids not to pee outside unless you're camping-- you'll be glad you did. But if other people's kids do it, don't judge teh parents too harshly-- it's all about karma. (If you're in the midst of potty training, all bets are off. You've gotta do what you've gotta do.)

9. Buy cheap shoes when kids are little. Feet grow faster than you think.

10. Don't forget about board games. You'll suffer through way too much Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders, but Connect Four and Battleship aren't half bad. And Clue rocks.

11. Embrace their quirks.

12. Know this: That stain won't come out. And it's okay. (The sooner you accept this, the better.)

13. At some point it will be February. Things will seem bleak. You will think about vitamins, glasses, more exercise, more sleep, more chores, less TV, more rules, fewer rules, and organic food. Just wait. Things will get better when the snow melts. Know that it will happen again at the end of summer, right before school starts. It's the circle of life, baby.

14. Always get boys' haircuts at barber shops instead of hair salons.

15. Answer this question: What is the worst thing that can happen if your kids sleep in their clothes?

16. Never stifle a generous inclination.

17. Try to like what they like. It kind of sucks when it's Bob the Builder, but the payoff will come when they discover Lemony Snicket.

18. Teach them to pump on the swings ASAP.

19. If your child falls asleep occasionally without brushing her teeth, don't wake her; baby teeth do eventually fall out.

20. I know you are supposed to use natural consequences to punish bad behavior, but sometimes it's hard to think of natural consequences. In these cases try threatening your kids with clipping their toenails or some other activity they dread. I've had great success with this one, but you must find your own.

21. Get used to the word zerrissenheit. It means a state of disjointedness, and it's the new normal for most of us. At least you can feel fancy because it's German.

22. Buy kids deodorant before they need it.

23. Teach your children to make their own breakfast-- and allow enough time so they can do it without pressure.

24. I can't stress this enough: Use duvet covers on your comforters and forget about the top sheet. Not only will you thank me for this advice, but your kids will thank me as well when they are learning to make their bed.

25. Remember clogging lessons are not in the best interest of the child.

26. Don't administer a punishment that hurts you more than it does them.

27. Always pack wipes. If your kids go somewhere without you, send along wipes. It's like having a mom with them.

28. Do not allow the word wienies in your home.

29. Dress your little girls like, well, little girls.

30. Make sure your kids know how they like their eggs and burgers cooked. You don't want them to feel stress when ordering at the diner.

31. It's fine to brag about yourself to your kids.

32. Buy quaint wooden toys and hand-knit stuffed animals, but don't expect your kids to play with them.

33. Just say "No" to any toy or doll that comes with packets that have to be mixed with water.

34. Teach them to like cool music. Why suffer through The Wiggles when you could be enjoying Wilco or counting along with Feist?

35. Don't buy the most expensive school-picture package. It's a waste of money.

36. Give out awards for actual acheivements.

37. You're never too old to dress up and decorate your house for Halloween. And it's more fun for everyone if you are into it. It also entitles you to more candy.

38. If the school year, new babysitter, or karate class gets off to a rocky start, don't totally stress out about it. Instead, think of the improvement that can be made by the end of the year.

39. Independence is a wonderful thing. For everyone. So is together time. Make sure you have a healthy dose of both.

I figured it out, people!!!

I've had conversations with a few of you, about how when you put pictures in blogger, SOMETIMES you can click on them to make them big, and sometimes you can't. Maybe you all already know this, but

I finally figured it out.

If you click and drag your pictures to move them around in your post, it breaks the link that allows you to click on the thumbnail and make it bigger.

You have to switch to HTML, and move the code to wherever you want it in your post, and then you'll be able to click on it as a thumbnail.

Ahh. I feel better.

Learning

This is going to be a long post, and it's pretty much just for me. I need to get some thoughts out. My only request is that if you decide to start reading what I'm about to write, you stick with it to the end...otherwise I'm afraid it's going to sound whiny, and nobody needs any extra whining in their life. I just need to get it out so I can move on. It's almost embarrassing to type it, since everything I have to say is so trivial compared to the adversity that some people face.

I've been looking forward to General Conference in a way that I haven't for a LONG time. Almost like a kid waiting for Christmas. I can't wait to be able to download the talks and listen to them while I work around the house. There is too much to take in all at once, and I'll admit that during this morning's session, I had so many thoughts going through my own head, that I struggled to pay attention to what was being said. That is why I'm writing now...to get my thoughts out so I can hopefully hear more of the last session.

I have struggled lately with living in my small town. Struggled is probably not a strong enough word. At times I have been almost bitter. Do not get me wrong. I LOVE small town living, and I LOVE the good people here. But I also came from a small town with good people, and I left behind a lot more.

I left my family, and moved further away from Todd's. I always wanted my kids to grow up knowing their cousins, like I did. I miss 5th Monday FHE's with the whole-fam-damily, and Sunday dinners at Grandma Great's house. Since moving here, two of Todd's siblings have moved to Cache Valley, which only makes it harder to be away.

I left a vast group of wonderful OB/GYN's, including my own who "keeps up with the latest" and helps write textbooks. I left his PA who specializes in women's moods and hormones, which I struggled so much with after my miscarriage in '07. I miss being able to have an ultrasound done in the doctor's office, and getting blood test results in an hour.

I do have to say that I am very happy with the doctors at our local clinic. They are good men, and they truly care. What they lack is the facility to give the kind of medical care I was used to in Logan. Don't even get me started on the x-ray machine at our clinic. The hospital an hour away has to get authorization just to perform an appendectomy. I shudder to think what would have happened with me if I had lived here when I had to have my appendix out while I was 20 weeks pregnant with Dillon. I worry about what will happen if I have trouble with my gall bladder again during a future pregnancy. I wonder if, when I get pregnant again, I will be able to convince the technicians at our hospital to do a vaginal ultrasound in order to get a better picture.

My only options for an OB/GYN are in Utah County (2 1/2 hours away). But a friend of mine did some research and found that the only hospital in that area, that is covered by our insurance, is NOT a hospital that these OB's deliver at. So because of my insurance, I can choose a doctor, or a hospital, but not both. Again, I am "stuck" with a family doctor at a hospital that would have to life-flight me if anything out of the ordinary happened.

I left a temple that was so close. We used to have a "date group babysitting exchange" every Friday night. It was only three hours long, but we were able to get to the temple, do a session, and return home in that 3 hours. Here, three hours will only cover the travel time, not the session.

And for that matter, I miss dates with my husband. I can only think of one date (where we left the house without kids) since we moved here. I can't afford to pay a babysitter very often, and we just haven't found the right option for a "trade". We had one worked out with some friends who also had three kids, and then they moved away. I am grateful to my mom, who always watches our kids when we visit, so that Todd and I can go to the temple and out to dinner.

I left behind USU. I truly never realized how much of an impact a college has on a community until I moved to a place without one. We have the USU extension, and I have felt the effects of Snow College, but it is not the same. I miss the Small Business Development Center and all their FREE services. I miss all the resources that USU provides for children with disabilites. The FREE testing, the programs available, the accredited preschool, and the music lessons at the conservatory.

I left behind two quilt guilds. One for longarm machine quilters where we met to discuss our machines, customer quilts, and find solutions to problems. It was like continuing education in my field. I also left a group of 80 women who paraded the most amazing quilts before my eyes every month. I was constantly inspired, and excited. I left behind two great quilt shops to come to a place with none. And the closest shop here is failing. There is a large group of quilters here, but many of them are very against machine quilting. They only "approve" of hand-quilted quilts, which doesn't make my job any easier.

I left behind stores. I like to shop...and hunt for bargains. I love being inspired by what's out there. I don't even have to buy anything...I just like to see it all. I get frustrated when I read tips online about saving money. Everything requires coupons, rebates, or shopping around. My choices are so limited that I often feel stuck. I get upset when I find out that the caselot sale in my Dad's grocery store is selling twice as much tuna for the same price as my store here. Or when they have access to boneless skinless chicken that is half the price I pay. I left Michaels, Jo-Ann's, (and now Hobby Lobby), and the biggest D.I. in the state, where I find the stuff that helps me use my creativity. Don't get me wrong. I learned a long time ago that "stuff" doesn't bring happiness. I know that having an endless supply of crafts won't bring happiness...but using my creativity and talents will. I just get frustrated when I'm working on a project and I picture something in my mind that I want, and I know I could get it in Logan and not here. It happens to me at least weekly. Sometimes I envy the people who grew up here and truly have NO IDEA what they are missing out on.

The other day, I found out that there is a violin teacher who comes down from Utah county to the town an hour away from us. I seriously started to cry, just knowing that I had that option for Brayden if we decided it was right for him. I truly don't think we can afford it, nor do I even know if it's what we want. It was just the fact that the option was there. That is how "stuck" I have felt here.

***And now to finally share what I have learned from conference so far***

For the past couple years, I think I thought deep down that if I really wanted to be happy here, I would have to change who I am, or what I want out of life. I thought I would have to suddenly like the fact that I have to pay a higher price for some things, or the fact that there are fewer opportunities for Brayden with his diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome, or enjoy missing out on extended family activities.

The talks I have listened to have helped me to come to the realization that I am who I am. I will always love to shop for bargains. I will always miss my family, and long for the resources from a bigger city. I do not have to like my situation...I just have to endure, and trust Heavenly Father. I have to spend my time concentrating on the good (and there's plenty of it here) and make the best of the things I can't have right now.

When we first moved here, we thought we'd stay for five years. I never dreamed that half way through our "time" the bottom would fall out of the economy and jobs would be so scarce. I think the feeling of being stuck here is what has made it so difficult for me. There is plenty of good here, but when the option of leaving suddenly started to fade away I got scared. I worry about what would happen if any of the three Aspen programs in our town had to shut down. There wouldn't be anyone coming in to buy our house if we wanted to move. I don't want to be stuck with a house in a place where I don't want to live forever.

That is where faith comes in. I know that we are where Heavenly Father wants us to be right now, and I know we were supposed to buy our house. Those are the things I can lean on. From now on, I am not going to focus so much on changing my feelings or goals, but learning to be happy despite my circumstances by focusing on the good that there is. Things could certainly be much worse (I wouldn't even say they are bad...just frustrating), and I will just hold on to hope that someday, I might get to have more of these opportunities again.

I just did a google search to find the scripture about charity enduring all things, and was surprised to find an article about one of my ancestors that sums up what I want to say:

"Drusilla Dorris Hendricks was among the Saints who were living in Missouri in 1838 when mob violence broke out. Drusilla’s husband was shot and paralyzed from the neck down. She drove back the mobs and nursed him, but his condition grew worse.
During this time, she wrote,“The conflict began in my mind: ‘Your folks told you your husband would be killed [if you joined the Mormons] and are you not sorry you did not listen to them?’ I said, ‘No I am not’. … After that a third person spoke. It was a still,small voice this time, saying, ‘Hold on, for the Lord will provide.’ I said I would [hold on] for I would trust in Him and not grumble.”
(Ensign, Apr. 1979, p. 55.)

Though the trials we face may not be the same as Drusilla’s, we will all experience some hardship and suffering. “Satan is increasingly striving to overcome the Saints with despair, discouragement, despondency, and depression,” President Ezra Taft Benson has said. (Ensign, Oct. 1986, p. 2.)
Our trials need not overcome us. In fact, they can teach us humility, faith, courage, and compassion, and can ultimately help us develop charity, the pure love of Christ, which “beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, [and] endureth all things."

I feel a closeness to Drusilla. I am not sure how we are related (Aunt Hollie will be able to tell me) but I think she's my 4th great grandmother. I remember reading a portion of her life history a few years ago, and I wish I could find it in my files to get it right, but she wrote about her husband finding her crying, because she was afraid that she wasn't up to the task of crossing the plains. Any time since then, when I feel like I can't do something, I remember that one line from her history.

Though my trials are nothing compared to hers, our feelings were the same, and I find inspiration in the fact that she made it when she thought she couldn't. In the last paragraph of her life history, she writes:

"The restored gospel is true. I have rejoiced in it through all my trials, for the spirit of the Lord has buoyed me up, or I should have failed."

She is buried in Richmond, Utah, near the school I attended in 8th and 9th grade. How grateful I am for her example.

I owe it to her to "trust Him and not grumble". We have been very blessed here. There is a LOT to be grateful for, and I am setting a goal to focus on the good. It is not going to be easy, but I have to do it.

Plumbing

In my last post, I mentioned that Todd started plumbing the bathroom sink downstairs. It started out quite well. What man wouldn't love to play with a blow torch (and a fire extinguisher) on a Saturday afternoon?

This was his first attempt at cutting into an existing line, and I think he did a great job, but there is one pesky joint that still has a leak...which means that our water is turned off.

The bad part, is that I finally got the "bug". I've been throwing up all night. And we have no water. THANK HEAVENS we have water storage because I've been using 2 liter bottles to wash my hands, brush my teeth, and flush the toilet.

What I have found, however, is that we do not have anywhere near enough water in our storage. What if we'd been without water while the boys were sick?

Todd was up nearly every hour through the night, trying to fix that joint, but after turning the water on each time and still having a leak, he has to turn it back off and wait for the pipes to dry before trying again. If there is any water in the pipe, it turns to steam and tries to escape out of the newly soldered joint.

I cannot wait to take a bath...

Laundry woes

* You may want to read my last two addendums on this post to fully understand my laundry woes.

Somewhere amid all the poopy and puky laundry I've been doing for the last week and a half, a large white load went through that included...a purple crayon.

I immediately got online and found this recipe for just such an occasion, cleverly entitled "This is the one":

"This is the one"

2 maximum load scoops of liquid Tide (I used Tide w/bleach powder)
1 cup Borax
1 cup liquid Shout stain remover
1 cup white vinegar
2 scoops Oxi-Clean

Fill washing machine with HOT water and let the "recipe" dissolve. Add your crayon infested clothes and let soak for 2 hours. Finish washing the load. Wash again with Tide and vinegar (I just used vinegar because my laundry reeked of detergent...and vinegar will neutralize the soap). Finish with an EXTRA rinse cycle (or two).

I was skeptical, but after spending all day on this one load, almost all of the crayon came out...even after sitting for several days. (This load had to "take a number" behind all the puked-on bedding)

So, you can imagine my horror, when I went to get my white load out of the dryer yesterday, and there was a 1/4" piece of purple crayon sitting on top of the lint trap, and all our socks and underwear were once again COVERED in purple spots. It never occurred to me that a piece of crayon could still be lurking within the load.

A murm'ring word escaped my tongue.

I put the white load back in the washer, and proceeded to go through the same LONG process to remove the crayon. While this load was soaking, I took my last puke-load that I had just washed (a pillow, Todd's coat, and a mattress pad) and put them in the dryer.

Later, when I went to get the mattress pad to make Dillon's bed, I was again horrified, as the pillow, and Todd's coat, were now purple. (cue the murm'ring word...)

Too bad you weren't here to see the next part of the show...me, inside the dryer...looking for the offending crayon. And then I found it...a melted mess in a 1/4" space under the lint trap.

Todd had a great idea, to take a blow dryer and melt the crayon, and then use an old toothbrush, some paper towels, and De-Solve it to clean the melted mess. Too bad he was on his way to work...

My dryer is now clean, my original white load has been through it's fourth wash and the second rinse cycle, and I'm about to do the whole thing again with the pillow and Todd's coat. I'm down to one more load of poopy stuff (a blanket, a pillowcase, and a slumber bag...poor Dillon tried to clean this mess himself before finally waking me up at 1:30 AM on Wed. night) and then I can start on the mound of clothes that has been piling up while I've been busy with bedding and crayon spots.

If this happens again, I'm moving to Australia...wearing purple spotted underwear.

This is how WE do it

I thought I'd post this, in case it will help anyone. These are idea's that have worked well for our family. Every year I like to make up a very general yearly plan for our FHE's. Do we follow it exactly? No way. But it gives me a direction on those busy nights when I haven't planned anything and have to "wing it". I do not let myself feel guilty for not sticking to it, but use it as a guide.

Our topics include:

Week 1 - Primary theme for that month

Week 2 - Conference talk; Friend; or Ensign article from the current magazine

Week 3 - Pertinent Subject (whatever Todd and I feel needs to be taught)

Week 4 - Kid's teach (their choice of topic or scripture story)

Week 5 - Fun Activity (since there are only 4 of these per year, these are the times we get to spend $$ on bowling, or eating out, or whatever we decide).

As a backup, if ALL these idea's fail on any given night, we will work on Brayden's Scout requirements, or Faith in God goals.

We usually sing the song that they are learning in primary that month. After being a primary teacher for a year, I've noticed that there is not usually enough time for them to learn all the songs really well, unless they are also learning them at home.

Our lessons are pretty short. I used to think that I had to go "all out" and have flannel board stories, activities, etc. but then they weren't getting done because it took too much time. If the spirit is there, the job is done. Kids CAN learn without all the fluff. (but the "fluff" does help, so I'm still always seeking out object lessons, activities, songs, etc. It's the preschool teacher in me.) If you come up with something really great this year...PLEASE SHARE IT WITH ME!

Our "pertinent subject" often ends up being board games, playing lego's, or watching a movie because we tend to get so caught up in our jobs, that we don't have enough fun together. Gotta have those "wholesome recreational activities".

Something else we have done, is give our kids "callings" in the family. Dillon is the reminder (he helps us remember to read our scriptures every night). Caleb is the service coordinator (we set a family goal for 2009 to do a service project each month, so Caleb will plan them). Brayden is the Activity Coordinator (he plans a monthly family activity). We will change them whenever we feel like it. Dillon's last job was music coordinator (he led the singing at FHE). We haven't done so well at this in the past (except for Dillon), and hope to do better this year.

You can click here for a pdf copy of the Primary Outline for this year.

And last of all, this has been our most successful method for reading scriptures:

On either Sunday or Monday night, we watch one scripture "reader" story on DVD (from the distribution center). The next night we read it from the "reader". The next night we might read the SAME story from the Gospel Art Picture kit. This is new this year, but if we have a flannel board story, I'll have the kids tell it, and after we know the story or the subject REALLY well, then we finally read it in our scriptures. By then, it's so much easier for the kids to understand.

We've done *most* of the Book of Mormon this way, and this year we are going to do The Doctrine and Covenants.

Maybe it's not a good substitute for the actual scriptures every night...but my kids are enjoying it, and they are really learning the stories. Caleb and Dillon do their "personal scripture study" by watching the Book of Mormon reader on CD-ROM on their computer. Brayden reads out of the readers.

Another idea that has worked well in the past, is to post an article of faith on the fridge. We try to read through it during breakfast in the morning, and it's amazing to me how fast the kids pick up on them. We need to get back to it...

None of this happens regularly. I am probably the WORST at keeping a schedule like this, but I figure that anything that works for awhile is better than nothing. We go in cycles where we do really well, and then times where we get caught up in "life", but by using a schedule like this in the past, I feel that OVERALL we are taking baby steps in the right direction.

Random thoughts...

I put away my maternity clothes today.

I'm not sure why it has taken so long. After 2 1/2 months of hanging in my closet, it took a total of six minutes to take them off the hangers, fold them, and put them in the rubbermaid container under my bed.

There's not really any reason. I just haven't gotten around to it. They were only in my closet for two days before I found out that my pregnancy might not go well.

For some reason, the sting of miscarriage is bothering me today. The first thing I thought of when I woke up, is that we would have had an ultrasound sometime this week (I remember that it was going to be right after Christmas).

Maybe it's because my "baby" (Dillon) is wearing underwear today. Or because he is going to be a Sunbeam in primary now. Yesterday when I asked him to do something, he replied, "Mom, who cares?" (it starts young when you have older brothers...)

I've really been doing quite well. I haven't had any of the symptoms of the hormone imbalance that had plagued me since my miscarriage in '07. It's like my body was thrown "back into whack" and I've felt so much better. I can think better. I've had several people say, "We have our Felicia back" and I feel it. For that I am so grateful.

Perhaps that's why it needed to happen. But regardless of the reason, today is hard. Maybe it's because I have only opened two of the doctor/hospital bills that I need to pay. They were due last week and I just can't bring myself to deal with them. The rest are probably past due, too, so I guess I ought to open them. I will, don't worry. I just haven't...yet.

Todd has had a pretty rough few months at work. It would have been so much harder on both of us if I had been pregnant through it all. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for us. I know that He can see the bigger picture and knows what's best. I also know that the atonement is for sorrow, as well as sin. I have learned for myself the importance, and the significance of the power of hope, and the blessings of friendship.

Always, I will remember...

...The surprise of finding out I was pregnant,

because I am usually sick before it's even time to test.

...The excitement that always comes with a positive pregnancy test.

...Wondering how we were going to pay for a baby,
and wondering where to put you in our two bedroom house.

...Telling your dad that we were going to have a baby,

and watching his realization that we HAD to finish another room in the basement.

...The good feeling I had, like this time was going to be different.

...The fun of being pregnant at the same time as my sister.

...Grandma spending two weeks with us,

helping me organize the basement so we could finish another room.

...Seeing the ultrasound screen and knowing

immediately that something was wrong.

...The frustration in waiting two weeks to find out if you were still growing.

...The anxiety and paranoia of not knowing.

...The friends who prayed, and listened, and cared.

...Wondering why I felt so strongly you were meant to be,
and why you were taken so soon.

...2008 as the year that my friends got me through.

...The peace that only comes from knowing that
Heavenly Father has a plan, and that He knows what's best.

...those ten short weeks
last fall.

To save you some time...

Just so you know, tub sealer is NOT a good replacement for hot glue when attaching flannel to cardboard.

Just go find the damn glue gun.

So this is what my boys think of me

I asked my boys the following questions to see what they thought. Here are their answers.

B= Brayden; C= Caleb; D= Dillon; T= Todd; (my comments in paranthesis)

1. What does mom always say to you?

B- Do your jobs.
C- Clean up.
D- Go to bed.
T- What the hell were you thinkin'? :o) (I would never swear...)

2. What makes mom happy?
B- Flowers.
C- When we clean up.
D- Clean our room.
T- When I do housework for you.

3. What makes mom sad?
B- Funerals.
C- When we don't clean up.
D- Not clean our room.
T- When I fall asleep on the couch.

4. How does mom make you laugh?
B- Do silly dances while I'm getting ready for school.
C- You say something silly.
D- Say knock, knock jokes...and that's all mom.
T- Her funny comebacks.

5. How old is mom?
B- I don't know...23?
C- Um...30?
D- Um..a...25?
T- I don't know...uh...are you 30? I have to stop and do the math to figure out how old I am.

6. How tall is mom?
B- Almost as big as dad.
C- Uh...I don't know?
D- Thiiiis big.
T- 5' 2", no 5' 4", no wait I'm 5' 4", no wait I'm 5' 8". 5'4". (I'm 5' 2 1/2")

7. What does mom like to do?
B- I know you like coloring. (I'd rather be sewing)
C- Watch your children. (while I blog?)
D- Make Dinner. Clean my room. (yeah, right)
T- Sit and stare at walls and figure out how to decorate 'em. Sounds awfully damn boring to me. (can you tell he's been at work getting sworn at?? So much potty language).

8. What is mom's job?
B- That's easy...quilting.
C- Let's see here...to tell the kids what to do.
D- Make dinner. Macaroni. (he left to get a box of macaroni).
T- Shwee? What is your job? You nurture family and the household. (It's like a revelation to him...? Glad we figured that one out.)

9. What is mom's favorite food?
B- Oranges. (orange juice is my least favorite)
C- Pizza (yeah, if it comes from Papa Murphy's so I don't have to prepare it)
D- Ravioli's (rabawoewee's) (I really like zucchini and onions)
T- Ravioli (only because they cook in 3 minutes)

10. How do you know mom loves you?
B- Because you hug me at night.
C- Because you care for us.
D- You hug me.
T- Because of everything that you do.

I love Dale's cone!

Since I have SO many relatives who teach primary right now, I thought some of you might like this. Or maybe you'll just think I'm a dork because I love Dale's cone ;o)

A friend of mine who homeschools her kids made a comment about homeschooling on her blog, and it got me all excited about teaching, and my training in preschool education, and my favorite...Dale's cone. I'm a little funny about Dale's cone. I've actually given a couple of enrichment classes on it.

Even though I could never homeschool because of my ADHD tendencies (those of you who know me well, stop laughing at the thought...in the next life I'll have my brain back), I've had the opportunity to to teach kids plenty...and this is the model I use and love, even for teaching PRIMARY (although, I need to explain adapting it to a church calling so bear with me here).

I hesitated to post this picture I found online because I've read that Dale's cone is often misrepresented, and I have no idea if the statistics are correct, but it really doesn't matter. You can still improve your teaching with it. Just ignore the numbers.

I'll start with an example of flowers. If you're going to teach children about flowers, the top of the cone would suggest reading about flowers. Take it a step further, and you might look at pictures of flowers, or color a flower. Even better would be to watch a movie about a flower, or take a walk and actually look at flowers. Moving on down the cone, you could pick flowers, dissect them, smell them, press them, make arrangements, etc. And finally, the best way to learn about flowers, would be to actually plant a seed, watch it grow, do all the activities that I just mentioned, and document it.

Any time I planned a preschool lesson, I would apply Dale's cone to try and come up with the best way to teach any given topic. Unfortunately, most of the time in church and schools, teachers are stuck at the top of the cone...giving out worksheets or a coloring page. It drives me crazy! There are so many better ways to teach something--especially to kids.

Why do a worksheet where you cut and paste the life cycle of a butterfly, when you can actually watch a caterpillar make the chrysalis, and come out a butterfly...or act it out with music...or have the kids re-tell the life cycle with flannel figures, or toys? They remember it so much better if it's fun.

After I graduated in preschool education, I thought I was a pretty good teacher...

And then I was called to teach the Sunbeams.

At first I was very frustrated with the lessons because I couldn't get very far down on the cone. I remember one lesson on the Godhead. As hard as I tried...I just couldn't get the Godhead to come to our class that day :o) Some lessons were easier (like I am thankful for fish), and I was able to move pretty far down the cone and provide some fun learning experiences, but others seemed impossible.

As I've continued to try to use this model in Family Home Evening, and in my current calling teaching primary, I've learned a little something. Any time you have the spirit there, and the kids feel it, you've reached the bottom of the cone. The spirit can teach their hearts and they can know and really experience what you're talking about. I am grateful for this because some of the topics we teach in church seem so far over their heads...but I know they are getting something if we make the effort to prepare, and invite the spirit.

These are a few of my favorite things

I'm still trying to learn photoshop, so I made this sampler from pictures of stuff around my house. I learned that I have a lot to learn...both in picture taking, and in photoshop-ing.

Proud to be an American

Okay, sorry Vanessa, I know you hate this picture, but I'm so proud to be your friend that I had to post it.

Independence Day meant something different this year, because I have a close friend whose husband is currently serving overseas. I've had the chance to see, first hand, the sacrifices that these men and women AND their families are making for our freedom.

Honestly, this is only the second time I've seen her cry, and I see her nearly every day. Her strength is amazing and she "holds everything together" for her four little kids so well...I am in awe. She deserves a lot more than free tickets to the Stadium of Fire.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, to everyone out there who has ever served in the military, or been a family member who has sent their loved ones so far away.
And V, you are in my prayers every day.

Sensory Integration--the new name of our "game"

Many of you know that Brayden (our oldest) has been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. It has been an uphill battle all the way, but this morning I feel like I finally reached the "top of the hill". Not because I think this is going to get easier, because I'm pretty sure it's only going to get harder, but for the first time in nearly 5 years, I feel validated.

Ten years ago I graduated from Rick's College with a degree in Professional Preschool Education. I never wanted to teach preschool, but when it came time to register for my college classes, my aunt Joyce told me I would be a good preschool teacher.

I still remember where I was standing when she said it.

I went home, looked up the classes, and signed up that day. I really had no idea what I was getting into, but as I continued through the program, I knew why I was there. I felt prompted, more than once, that I was learning those things to help one of my future children.

When Todd and I got engaged, I felt obligated to tell him that I had a feeling that I was going to have a child with a disability...and I've never been so relieved when he looked at me and said, "I've always felt that, too".

Fast forward a few years to Brayden at age 3. He started doing some "weird" things that didn't seem typical to me. I went back through all my preschool stuff, dug up all my behavior info, and did what I'd been taught to do.

And it didn't help.

I talked to the pediatrician, and to the ladies at the WIC office about my concerns, and they told me it was a phase. This was my first child and I was probably a little overprotective.

Brayden's odd behaviors continued, and I continued to get, "it's just a phase", until one day I called my mom in tears because Brayden was throwing a huge tantrum over the fact that every time he dipped his spoon into his cereal, all the cereal pieces would rush towards the spoon, and he only wanted ONE piece of cereal on his spoon.

I ended up putting him in an accredited preschool at Utah State (to the tune of about $100 a month) just to see what they thought. It was only a couple weeks before they noticed what I had seen. One teacher thought he was autistic...another didn't, but it didn't matter to me. Their observations and referral to the CPD (center for person's with disablilities) was what I needed so that I could figure out how to help my son.

Then came the whole debate with giving a "name" to the problem. He is who he is and we love him anyway. Is giving a name to the problem going to help him, or hurt him?

We went forward with the diagnosing process, hoping to be able to find something that would help. At first it was a relief to discover that I wasn't just an overprotective mom, and that we weren't the only ones dealing with this. Brayden is considered "high-functioning" which gives us hope that he will have a pretty normal life, but I still wanted to do everything I could to help him learn the social skills that would make things a little easier. This is when the "uphill battle" began.

We moved to a small town in the middle of nowhere without many resources. The school felt the need to re-diagnose him, and amazingly, they came up with the same results (duh). The problem came when we found out that their willingness to help corresponded with Brayden's academic performance.

I'll spare you all the details and stories and just say that it took me over a year to get him an IEP (individualized education plan) because he is the most high-functioning out of the other 3 kids in our district with the same diagnosis. Whenever I went to the special ed ladies or his teacher with a concern, I got, "he's much better than so and so". It made me so mad I wanted to spit! I don't care how he compares to those kids...I care how he compares to MY kids, who are raised by the same parents ,and they don't have all these other issues. I was then made to feel (again) like I was an overprotective parent, and that the issue was parenting. As long as his grades were good, they were not concerned.

Those of you who know Brayden, know that he is very smart. I've never worried about his grades for one second. With him, it was all about social skills, but no one would help. My friend, Shauntae, put it perfectly when she said, "Why is it always, 'Is he falling behind,' rather than, 'Is he thriving?'"

I was very happy with Brayden's first-grade teacher. Although I still got the "vibe" that she thought I was an over-protective parent, she was willing to listen and do whatever she could to help...and for this I will always be grateful. It was because of her that we finally got an IEP. Also, somewhere along the middle of the year something "clicked" with her, and she started to understand what I was looking for.

Fast forward now, to the last few weeks of first grade and the first part of our summer. Brayden has become obsessed with germs, and washes his hands constantly. His hands are raw, cracked, and bleeding. His brothers taunt him and try to touch him and he runs away screaming and crying. I am torn between wanting to be understanding, and wanting to scream at him because he's so crazy! I knew it was an obsessive compulsive disorder, but I just didn't know how to deal with it. Nothing I tried to say to him helped.

Last week, I finally broke. I asked him to come outside and help me in the garden, and he was trying to open the screen door with his foot, so his hand wouldn't have to touch the handle. I walked over and forced his hand to the handle and it was covered in soap bubbles that he hadn't rinsed off. I picked him up like a two-year-old, yelled at him as I marched him to the bathroom, and I rinsed and dried his hands while both of us sobbed. I called the clinic to get him an appointment and they told us to come in that day.

The Dr. gave us some cream for his hands, and put him on an anti-depressant to help with the anxiety...and I cried for the entire day.

I do not want my 7 year old on Prozac, and yet there is nothing I can do to help him. The doctor called later that day and referred us to the county health nurse, who referred us to the Children's Special Health Clinic, which only happens three times a year in our area. It consists of a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, an occupational therapist, and other professionals who leave the big city and come down to "nowhere" to help those of us who are stranded and helpless.

And, it just so happened that this clinic was the following week. So, today, I took my three boys an hour away at 7:00 in the morning to see if the Occupational Therapist could help.

And that brings me to finally being validated. He was WONDERFUL! He told me that my story was very common among parents of children with Asperger's, because the special ed. teachers in public schools are concerned with academics...not social skills. He said that the day will come when they realize that social problems DO affect academics, but it's a hard sell, and it hasn't happened yet. He agreed with me completely. He also mentioned that the Occupational Therapist who Brayden had seen at school, was looking for things like hand-writing and motor skills (which Brayden has no problem with) and that's why he labeled him "fine" and therefore the special ed teachers think he is "fine" as well.

The OT we met with today, however, has special training in sensory integration, which is apparently what we need, to help Brayden with his social and sensory issues. He did an assessment, and agreed that there IS a need for services, and that there are definitely things we can do to help. And, better yet, while we're working on the OCD tendencies, he says the treatment is usually "systemic" and will likely improve some of his other problems (he nearly has an accident EVERY time he goes to the bathroom).

He is going to be sending us a packet of stuff, and as he described it to me a light went on in my head...and I actually think it's going to help. With Todd being a therapist, I'm pretty sure we can work on this stuff at home (which is ideal since there's no one around to help us). I'm just so relieved to finally have some suggestions for things we can do! I don't want to wait around until it affects his performance at school....I want to prevent those problems, and now I feel like I have someone who can show me how to help my son. He told me to call him anytime, with questions about what to be working on at home, and he'll meet with us again next February (half way through the school year) to see how things are going.

Today I cried tears of joy, rather than tears of frustration.

If any of you made it to the bottom of this post...bless your heart. I know it's long and boring, but I had to get it out, and into my "journal". And for those of you who have a child with special needs (especially those that aren't obvious to the eye), good luck in your battle. I'm happy to commiserate with you any time.

Today, While the Sun Shines...

As Latter-day Saint women, we are practically obsessed with anxiously engaging ourselves in good causes. Maybe it's subliminal....Glancing through the hymnal last Sunday I noted that as sisters in Zion, we who are called to serve are all enlisted to go marching, marching forward because the world has need of willing men to all press on scattering sunshine. We wonder if we have done any good in the world today because we have been given much and want to do what is right, keep the commandments, press forward with the Saints, choose the right, and put our shoulders to the wheel going where He wants us to go. However, as the morning breaks high on the mountain top, truth reflects upon our senses, and while we still believe that sweet is the work, we also realize that we have work enough to do ere the sun goes down. And thus we ask Thee ere we part, where can we turn for peace?

-author unknown

hee, hee....I've felt like this a few times :o)

My dad's the best!

My dad and I have a few things in common. For one, we like to shop. I've been kicking myself all morning for spending yet another $25 on flowers for my yard, when I opened my e-mail and received this picture of my dad's new tie racks that he got for father's day. I can now see that my problem is genetic. I needed those flowers like my dad needs another tie.

Having a dad that likes to shop definitely has it's advantages. When our family used to go school shopping for our summer vacation (when you live on a farm your vacations can only be a day long), I learned quickly that it was far more advantageous to take Dad to my size clothing section, than Mom :o).

One time, when I was in 7th grade, I walked into Vanity and saw the most beautiful dress I'd ever seen. It was perfect in every way and I don't think I'd ever wanted anything so badly. I was SO disappointed when I saw the price tag and it said $70. I knew that there was absolutely no way I'd ever have that dress. I didn't even have to ask my mom, because I already knew the answer.

When I got home, I told my dad about the perfect dress, and subjected myself to lecture #348 about how money doesn't grow on trees, and how I should help around the house and yard more, or save my babysitting money, and......(I tuned out at this point).

Anyway, to make a long story short, I got home from school the next day and there, hanging in my bedroom, was my dress. Dad went to the mall, and bought the right dress in my size, just by my description of it. Would your dad do that?? I don't think so. That's why mine is the best.

Then, there was the time in 3rd grade, when I was about to cover my valentine shoe box with aluminum foil and heart stickers like every other deprived kid out there, when my dad showed up and saved the day. He found a bigger box, some white wrapping paper (who else would have plain white wrapping paper laying around?), some white fabric with little pink hearts, lace, batting, and a hot glue gun. I watched with wide eyes, as my dad cut out a large heart from a piece of cardboard, then cut another heart out of the middle, and then proceeded to upholster that heart with batting, fabric, and a lace edge. Next, he attached it to the big box (which was PERFECTLY wrapped in shiny white paper) and sent me off to school in style. Would your dad do that?? I don't think so. That's why mine is the best.

Oh, and I can't forget about my prom dress. (Who could? I looked like a giant butterfly). I picked that horrible pattern, and my Dad sewed beads in a swirly design over the entire bodice. As much as I cringe at the thought of those puffy sleeves....I will always remember Dad sewing those beads. He did the same for my wedding dress. Would your dad do that?? I think not. That's why my dad's the best.

Then, there was the summer before college. Every night I stayed up late with dad, long after Mom had gone to bed, and watched M*A*S*H while we discussed important things like which silverware was my favorite in the Betty Crocker catalog (for my future wedding, of course) and what kind of China pattern I liked best. Would your dad do that?? I can pretty much guarantee not. That's why mine is the best.

When Todd met my dad for the first time, he was overwhelmed by how involved Dad was in our lives, and by the fact that he cared about the pillowcase I was busy embroidering for my college stitchery class. By this time I think Todd was pondering marriage related thoughts, but he truly doubted his ability to live up to this man who had an opinion about what color the center of my lazy daisy should be. And yet, he married me anyway, and has even learned what a bedskirt is for. Thank heaven's for my dad's example of a man who cares about decorating!! Does your dad do that? Probably not. That's why mine's the best.

Some valuable lessons I've learned from Dad:

-If you play the piano, recite a poem, or sing in public you'll get a quarter.
-If you're going on a six hour car ride...go to the bathroom before you leave home and don't drink any water.
-If you move sprinkler pipe in a wheat field in the middle of a lightning storm....run fast.
-Don't just sit there...get him a screwdriver.
-a bunch of jokes that I can't tell in public.
-Red and pink stink...and blue and green should never be seen.
-how to cook a turkey.
-You can never have too many flowers...or ties...or suits.
-put your saf-instant yeast in with the DRY ingredients.
-the chandelier in the celestial room at the Logan temple has 368 crystals. (actually, I don't remember the number...but I bet he does).
-when using spray paint, paint in short spurts...otherwise you'll run out of propellant before the paint's all gone.
-Don't cut a small leaf out of the center of the paper.
-Save your scabs for Sunday.
-It's better to grow zinnia's from seed than to transplant them.
-Be wary of too many poppyseed muffins.
-Cute is the white part of chicken manure.
-I'm actually thankful for those piano lessons.
-never buy cheap carpet, or flat paint.
-The DI is a wonderful place where you can find just about anything.
-YES, I can do that for you...
-A wonderful bird is a pelican...
-how to make browned butter icing.
-If you store something long enough, you're sure to need it again.
-With enough practice, you can get a score of over 8000 in solitaire.
-When people break out into song and dance in the middle of a musical--that's normal.
-to be careful when cutting the "corners" of my kid's heads during a haircut.
-And the most important, and this one he taught be example...Always go the extra mile.

Love you, dad! Happy father's day

**there are 84 ties in Dad's closet...well, 83 now, since Ben walked in and realized that one of them was his.

A blustery day

This was my first attempt at a picture of the wind we're having today:

It is hard to take a picture of wind :o)

I grew up in a place that had an occasional strong wind gust.

Then I went to college in a place that had a lot of windy days

(or I thought it was wind).

But today folks, I've experienced wind. This "wizard-of-oz-like, rip off your screen door, knock you on your bottom tempest" hasn't stopped for a second since it started at 9:15 this morning.

But, after some careful thought,

I figured out how to get a better shot of the wind:

I'm pretty sure a couple of our bike helmets are in Denver by now...

We got a "Humpaline"!

I think this new "toy" is for me, rather than the kids. (And I don't mean for jumping--I've had three kids...jumping is no longer an option). This marvelous "monkey cage" doesn't make ANY mess in my house, AND it uses up energy (something that 3 people in our household have way too much of).
You can see Todd anchoring it down on the side. It's a good thing he did it, because we'd have lost the trampoline in the wind the very next day. The wind here is horrendous in the Spring.

(oh, and it's Dillon that calls it a "humpaline")

Always, I will remember...

Always, I will remember...

...Coming home from church one Sunday,

surprised because I knew you were meant to be.

...Knowing for two weeks that I was pregnant,

even though it was too early to test.

...Telling your dad that you were due on March 18th,

your Grandpa's birthday (we were still mourning his loss).

...Finally taking the test early,

because I was already feeling sick and knew the results.

...The excitement that always comes with a positive pregnancy test.

...Wondering how we were going to pay for a baby,

and wondering where to put you in our two bedroom house.

...The empty feeling I got when I prayed for you,

knowing deep down that something was wrong--

but not wanting to admit it.

...The frustration in waiting 3 days to get a blood test back

to find out if you were still growing--knowing that if I lived

in a bigger town I could have the results in an hour.

...The anxiety and paranoia of not knowing.

...The nurse's cold, uncaring voice when she

announced an early miscarriage.

...Wondering why I felt so strongly you were meant to be,

and why you were taken so soon.

...Knowing that you would have had three cousins,

and two 2nd cousins born the same year.

Three of them are already here. One is due next month.

And one, like yourself, didn't make it.

...The peace that only comes from knowing that

Heavenly Father has a plan,

and that He knows what's best.

...those five short weeks

last summer.