Thank you Grandma and Grandpa S!

Brayden's 8th Birthday (OR) Felicia is drowning in a sea of testosterone

The birthday boy, saving the day.

I got the (brand new) costume on ebay for 99 cents.

The display. The dollar store was packed full of Spiderman stuff,

so I gave myself a $10 limit, and went to town. My mom used to go all out for our birthdays...blowing up that balloon and taping it to the ceiling above our chair.

I had a lot to live up to. :o)

Brayden dramatically collapsed when he saw the display.He got his scout stuff...

...and a scooter!

He asked for strawberry milk (yuck!), which we had with

muffins and oranges (his favorite food).

The boys blew their party blowers(?) until they were so full of spit they fell apart. Always a hit.

Spiderman vs...the green leprechaun??

"Web slinging" with silly string. Yes, Mom, they are wearing shorts, and yes it's freezing cold outside. Luckily, it only took about 30 seconds.

I bought silly string for each of the kids (make that 3 of the kids...the 34 yr. old was a bit upset at being left out). So, he "helped" Dillon....while wearing his SUIT PANTS!@#!

We got trick candles, but our Spiderman was too smart.

He blew them all out, and they didn't re-light.

I had never made, or even tried, a red-velvet cake, but it reminded me of Spiderman, so we did it. Not bad, just...not chocolate. Todd made the cream cheese icing.

Here are the boys, playing with fire, trying to figure out why the trick candles didn't re-light, and what would happen if they burned the entire candle??

As I left to come downstairs to download these pictures, I heard: "What would happen if we lit our eyebrows on fire?"

Heaven help me.

10 things I love (and hate) about my house/yard

My friend, Mindy, did this on her blog and I thought it sounded fun.

10 things I love:

-the aspen trees in my backyard
-the country lookin' fence
-the branch of my crabapple tree that grows apples
-my dining room wall (after I removed the 70's wood paneling)
-the boys' bedroom after we painted it
-my new kitchen floor (it hides everything)
-the window boxes that Todd made
-it is inexpensive to heat
-there is a separate room for my quilting machine
-We have good neighbors
-We live on a quiet street

10 (or more) things I hate:

1- the rock and the brick behind the stove....and the stove. It always looks dirty no matter how much I clean it, and I want different doors so I can see the fire :o) Someday I hope to cover the brick and rock with NEW rock. Don't tell me to paint it....the only thing worse than ugly brick, is ugly brick that's been painted.

2- Notice something missing? It's called a garage. I need one.

3- This "growth chart" is on my master bedroom wall from a previous owner. I plan to paint, but it's oil based so I have to prime it first, and that's what's holding me back.

4- The kitchen cabinets, and of course the famous orange countertops.

5- The crumbling cement on my steps, and the "dead" chainsaw that has been living there for over a month...

6- The electric heat in the ceiling that causes the ceiling to expand and contract and CRACK.

7- My stairway is just nasty. There's no other words. And of course the large orange sign that everyone ignores just adds to the beauty.

8- My unfinished basement ceiling, that has to be pulled out so we can figure out the wiring. There is no electricity in the family room, so we run extension cords.

9- The brown shag in the master bedroom. You can go over it four times with the vacuum, and it still brings up new "layers" of crud.

10- HATE the ugly thermostats all through the house, but when we tried to replace one of them, we couldn't find an electric thermostat that would work.

11- This light switch cover is in the master bedroom. I have a million new ones downstairs...I just haven't bothered to change it yet.

Still waiting...

My blood test results came back, and my HCG levels are going up, however that can also happen with a blighted ovum. So basically....I know nothing. I'm supposed to have another blood test next Thursday, but I will be out of town.

The "not knowing" is really starting to wear me down. I am frustrated, and I don't feel well.

The words to a hymn just came to my mind, so I will post them, and then try to get on with my day and accomplish something.

How gentle God’s commands!

How kind his precepts are!

Come, cast your burdens on the Lord

And trust his constant care.

Beneath his watchful eye,

His Saints securely dwell;

That hand which bears all nature up

Shall guard his children well.

Why should this anxious load

Press down your weary mind?

Haste to your Heav’nly Father’s throne

And sweet refreshment find.

His goodness stands approved,

Unchanged from day to day;

I’ll drop my burden at his feet

And bear a song away.

Still hopin' for a miracle

I finally talked to the doctor, and my HCG level is between a 5 and 8 week pregnancy.

This is a little behind my calculations, but it is consistent with the ultrasound that I had.

So...I have to have another blood test today (hopefully results tomorrow) to see if my HCG level is going UP.....or down.

And the duck pecking continues...

Letting myself hope

I couldn't sleep last night, so I went downstairs to blog, and my Internet wasn't working (just add it to my song). I was surprised to realize how much "writing things out" really helps me. So I typed what I had to say in WordPerfect. Yes, I said WordPerfect. I think I'm the last person alive who still prefers it over Word. Anyway, I called my I.T. guy and got my internet working this morning, so I'll post my thoughts.

It’s 4:00 in the morning, and I can’t sleep. I had come to grips with the fact that this pregnancy was going to end, so when my doctor told me that IF my dates were wrong, there MAY be a chance that I still MIGHT be pregnant...I was left in a stupor.

I know my dates are right.

I know when my anniversary was...yada, yada, yada.

And I have never in my life been as late (ovulating) as I would need to be to make this work. If it does, it will be nothing short of a miracle.

I do wonder, why IF the sac had simply stopped growing at six weeks, I am still feeling morning sickness at nine weeks.

As I was praying last night, I remembered Pres. Uchtdorf’s talk on hope, and decided that I HAD to let myself hope. It is a commandment. And it is the ONLY thing I can do. He says it goes along with faith and charity on a "three legged stool" and let’s face it...I need a place to sit down right now.

And so now I am hoping beyond hope, that for some unknown reason this little spirit needed to come two weeks later than it’s "earthly timeslot". It is unlikely, for sure.
But I found a lady online who had the same problem, and her baby didn't show up on the ultrasound until she was 9 weeks along, and the fetus was a week and a half "behind schedule". Her HCG levels continued to rise, but even at 8 weeks there was still no baby on the screen. By her 20 week appt, her little girl had "caught up". So...it HAS happened before, though I know it's probably the "million to one chance".

If it’s not meant to be, then I suppose there is something I needed to learn through all of this. I definitely watched conference with a different perspective than I would have otherwise.

I'm supposed to call the clinic today and talk to the physician's assistant, who will hopefully be able to tell me if my HCG levels are where they should be at this stage in pregnancy. If they are, I assume they will send me in for another ultrasound.

If not, then I will miscarry.

It would be very much "like me" to be a complete basketcase right now, but I feel at peace...just full of questions. I'm so grateful for the peace, and I know it comes from all the prayers and support of my family and friends.

I feel like I'm living in a country song

My brother-in-law was in the hospital.

My other brother-in-law lost his job.

We got the "blue screen of death" on our laptop.

The bottom fell out of the economy.

BOTH of our DVD players are on the fritz.

And today I went to see my doctor for a follow-up visit after my ultrasound, and he had interesting results. Apparently, the sac was a 6 week size. It's possible that I still have a blighted ovum, but he also said there is a very slight chance that maybe if my dates were off, I might still be pregnant. So they did a blood test. And sent it off to Provo. And now I sit here in limbo.

My friend described the "not knowing" as "being pecked to death by ducks". I'm starting to agree with her.

Do you think if I play this "song" backwards it'll all get better?