So far today... (a very random post)

So far today I have:

-laughed
-cried
-pondered the meaning of life
-given a hug
-said I love you
-cleaned the kitchen
-checked e-mail
-paid some bills
-prayed
-eaten a plate full of vegetables
-eaten a piece of chocolate cake (fear of major poop fest caused by vegetables)
-talked to my mom
-pondered the meaning of life
-talked to my mother-in-law
-considered making hamburger buns for dinner
-re-considered the homemade hamburger buns
-decided on taco's for dinner
-cleared the bathroom counter
-checked my blogs (my ticket to the outside world)
-wished it wasn't so windy so I could go for a walk
-already regretting the amount of vegetables consumed
-thinking about more cake
-skimmed through two church talks
-pondered the meaning of life

...and probably a bunch more random stuff. It's just a normal day, here. Todd has been able to be home for dinner every night this week. That's been nice. I seriously can't remember the last time that happened, or if it ever has.

I am so grateful to be able to stay at home and be a mother. It is the hardest thing I've ever done, because of the emotional toll it takes. A person could seriously go crazy sitting within the same four walls all day every day, and since I live where I do....there's not really anywhere to go. I love to get out, to see things, and to be with people, and yet I've had the thought so many times lately that I'm where I need to be. I am glad for that spiritual confirmation, and the blessings that come with it.

All of a sudden, this winter, life got a lot easier for me (in some ways). My baby "grew up". He's potty-trained, he plays by himself, and he doesn't just make random messes for no reason. My other two boys got amazingly responsible when we got a Nintendo gamecube and they had to have their chores done in order to play. This morning I got them up at 7:20, and by 8:00 they'd gotten dressed, eaten, taken their dishes to the sink, brushed teeth and hair, packed backpacks, fed the dog, brought in a couple loads of wood, made their beds, and said their prayers. We would've had scripture study except Dad was in the shower. After school is typically the same story, they now have their homework done within the first 30 minutes of being home. I think it's time to add more chores. On Sundays I get to sit in church and hold Todd's hand while my boys read their BOM readers. There's no more in and out during sacrament meeting. No need to sit on the end of the aisle in Relief Society. No more diaper bag. No more toys or cheerios.

I'm not used to NOT being needed as much. I've had more time to cook homemade meals. More time to craft. I've put mascara on every day for the past month. That hasn't happened since before I had kids.

I waited so long for this day (amidst all the poopy diapers and sleepless nights) and now I feel lost. Like I'm just floating. Like...what is the purpose of life? What should I be doing? As I said earlier, the spirit has confirmed that I'm where I need to be. Even though the money would be nice and very helpful right now (gosh I can't wait to finish my basement and have a second bathroom and a third bedroom), I want to do what Heavenly Father needs me to do, because I know that is the only way to find true happiness.

Please don't get me wrong. I fully believe that there are women who have to work, and women who ARE following Heavenly Father's plan for THEM by working outside the home. I also believe that there are far too many in this world who THINK they have to, but it is a decision to be made between a couple and the Lord and there is not room for any of us to judge. I only know that for ME, being a SAHM is undoubtedly the answer for now.

Part of me longs for the baby that I feel is still waiting to come to our family, while part of me is SO grateful to be past all that work! I would not have time to decorate, blog, or bake every day with a baby around. I always thought I would have all my kids together and do it once. I am overwhelmed at the idea of "starting over" again.

There are so many GOOD ways to use my time now. Things that I couldn't do when I had a herd of little kids at home. I need to excercise. I need to read more. I need to do a better job of cleaning and organizing since I CAN. I need to drum up more quilting business. I need to read my scriptures for longer and more often. I need to try to help my neighbors more.

And yet...I'm not used to it. It seems like everything changed overnight without warning. And so I float along...and ponder. I'm sure life will soon pick up speed and I'll wish for this calm time. It won't be long before I move into that "Mom's taxi" phase.

And that's enough thinking for today. Todd told me to stop thinking and DO. I guess I'll go try.

I've been tagged...6th folder 6th picture

This is one of my all-time favorite customer quilts. It was a round-robin quilt exchange where the owner made one block and then passed it around to members of the "exchange group" who then added another block according to her theme.

I was in her group, and I made the "liberty" block, and the red star block below it with the pinwheel that kind of looks like arrows.

MY quilt for this exchange was a summer theme, and has yet to be completed...sigh.

Oh, how I miss my quilt group in Logan!!!

I tag anyone who wants to play. Go to your sixth folder and post your sixth picture.

Gone fishin'

We had a giant box that wouldn't fit in the garbage can this week, so Dillon and I took some duct tape and made a boat this morning. We attached a magnet to his real fishing pole (drilled a hole in the magnet), so he can actually reel in the fish.

I much prefer this activity to the one the boys did yesterday using the styrofoam that was also in the box...you can see bits of styrofoam all over the floor.

I made these quilted fish years ago and they have been the best! There is a metal washer sewn onto each side of the batting that's between the fabric. Then I quilted the fish with my regular sewing machine (lower the feed dogs and use the hopping foot), and cut around the edge with pinking sheers.

The boat is big enough for two, so I think I'll join him for a minute before starting my day...

It runs in the family...

I got a call from the school this morning, telling me that Brayden had hit his head on the door while going into the school and he needed stitches.

I ran over to pick him up and the secretary and principal were completely bewildered. They couldn't imagine what he'd possibly done.

I was able to reassure them that Brayden's grandpa Salisbury, and "uncle pianoman" had both done the same thing before (only they passed out) so it must run in the family.

Three hours, four Tylenol, and five stitches later, he's back in school.

I guess I'll start my day now. These are the times that I am so grateful to be a SAHM.

A groundhog day tradition

I like to try and celebrate the "uncelebrated holidays" like groundhog day and flag day with my kids. It's just an excuse to do something out of the ordinary.

Watching cupcakes bake :o)

Dillon helped pick the groundhog clipart online, and then helped cut them out and tape them to toothpicks. Since we only had white frosting on hand, and I didn't want to make any, our groundhogs were popping out of the snow. They did NOT see their shadows.

Dillon said, "Aw...Dey awe tute!"

After it was all over, Dillon asked, "Mom, What's a dwoundhod?"
Oh well. At least he had fun.

Plumbing

In my last post, I mentioned that Todd started plumbing the bathroom sink downstairs. It started out quite well. What man wouldn't love to play with a blow torch (and a fire extinguisher) on a Saturday afternoon?

This was his first attempt at cutting into an existing line, and I think he did a great job, but there is one pesky joint that still has a leak...which means that our water is turned off.

The bad part, is that I finally got the "bug". I've been throwing up all night. And we have no water. THANK HEAVENS we have water storage because I've been using 2 liter bottles to wash my hands, brush my teeth, and flush the toilet.

What I have found, however, is that we do not have anywhere near enough water in our storage. What if we'd been without water while the boys were sick?

Todd was up nearly every hour through the night, trying to fix that joint, but after turning the water on each time and still having a leak, he has to turn it back off and wait for the pipes to dry before trying again. If there is any water in the pipe, it turns to steam and tries to escape out of the newly soldered joint.

I cannot wait to take a bath...

It's that time of year again...

It's the time of year where we spread our filing cabinet across the kitchen table, and I regret my poor bookkeeping skills. 

Tax time.

Todd was amused as he watched me go through my entire year of bank statements and my checkbook register to figure out my business expenses, write them on an envelope that was kicking around, and add everything up on my 9"x11" calculator (finally, a calculator I can't lose).  To figure my mileage, I just count up how many times I spent money at a quilt shop (using my bank statement), and multiply it by the miles it takes to get there and back.

I love to quilt...I HATE the record keeping/filing/business end of it.  If the IRS ever shows up at my door to do an audit, they're going to have to go through my scratch papers (and envelopes) in order to find what they need.  

I do have quickbooks....but I'm not very good at using it.  It just keeps telling me every time I sell a piece of batting that I don't have any on hand. But, I do, so I don't care and I sell it anyway.  For six years now it's been telling me I don't have enough batting, and for six years, I have dutifully replaced my batting without ever entering it into quickbooks. I just...don't...care.

Would anyone out there like to be my business accountant in exchange for machine quilting?  All you would have to do is drive to the middle of nowhere in January, and go through my stuff (that I meant to file).  It takes me about an hour a year, so it would probably take someone who has skills about 15 minutes to get the job done.  If you can fix my quickbooks and teach me to use it I'll quilt you a queen size quilt. I'm not kidding.

So while I spent my day wandering around and stressing about my one hour of yearly work, Todd helped a neighbor move, plumbed the downstairs bathroom sink, and filed our federal and state taxes (I helped with this one...by reporting my business findings to him)

And now I can relax for another year.