The doctrine of the Family

At the beginning of the summer, we went to Cache Valley to visit our family. My kids were playing with their cousins, and when I went to check on them, they were playing what we used to call "House", but they were calling it, "Family".

I had forgotten all about it until this morning, when I heard Dillon ask his brothers if they wanted to play "Family".

I was thrilled to hear this, because I've spent my week reading and re-reading a talk that Sister Julie B. Beck gave to seminary and institute teachers last year. My bishop is a seminary teacher, and gave out copies of this talk at a ward correlation meeting that Todd attended, just after it was given. I read it then, and liked it so much that I put it in my basket of magazines next to my rocking chair. It gradually made it's way to the bottom of the pile and was forgotten, until I dug it out this week.

In her talk, Sister Beck talks about the doctrine of the family, and how important it is that we, as well as our children understand it. I would highly recommend reading it if you haven't. In one of my favorite paragraphs, she says that if we teach so that our [children] know all the rivers in the Book of Mormon, if they can name all the prophets of the Old Testament, if they can describe to you the pioneer trek and the history of the Latter-day Saints in the restored times but they don't understand the promises made to the fathers and their part in it, it is "utterly wasted."

A year ago, probably after reading this talk, I realized something that rocked me to my core.

My boys are going to grow up.

And not only are they going to grow up, but someday they will get married, and I will no longer have influence in how they live...their wives will. What if my future daughter-in-law's don't understand the doctrine of the family? What if they want a career over children? There won't be much that I can do at that time. My time is now.

It occurred to me that the only thing I could do, was to magnify my calling as a mother, teach my boys the doctrine of the family, make my home a place of refuge from the world, and do it in a way so that my sons will WANT to choose a wife that has those values.

Sister Beck talks about the story of Isaac and Rebekah, which is pivotal. "Everything depended on a man and a woman who understood their place in the plan and their responsibilities to form an eternal family, to bear children, and to teach them. So what I submit to you as one of your responsibilities...is to send Isaac and Rebekah forth from every classroom."

"Next, I would have you live in your homes, in your families, in your marriages so your students have the hope of eternal life from watching you. Your objective is to live in the kind of a home life that your students want to have--have that kind of a family. They won't get that message from many other places. Live it and teach it with so much clarity that what you teach will cut through all the noise they are hearing and pierce their hearts and touch them. You don't need to compete in the number of words; you just need to be very clear in your examples. Live in your home so that you're brilliant in the basics, so that you're intentional about your roles and responsibilities in the family."

Sister Beck talks about when she and her husband got married. They had three dollars. They entered that relationship as a faith-based work. She says, "We knew that we had made a covenant with the Lord and that He would bless us. It didn't take money; it took faith. Those are the messages they need to have and get confidence in because of you."

"This generation will be called upon to defend the doctrine of the family as never before in the history of the world. If they don't know it, they can't defend it...If you don't know that they are meant to be fathers and mothers, then they won't know that they are meant to be fathers and mothers. Your effort will be wasted. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us."

This morning, I found some staggering statistics here:

In 2007 40% of all babies born in the US were born to unwed mothers.

The number of people cohabitating in the US increased by 90% between 1990 and 2007.
50% percent of first marriages, 67% of second and 74% of third marriages end in divorce.
Throughout the world countries such as Sweden, Nepal, Norway, Belgium, South Africa, Spain and others have legalized same-sex marriage.

In the US every action to redefine marriage has occurred after 1995.

I find that last line significant because this year marks the 15th anniversary since President Hinckley introduced "The Family: A Proclamation to the World". It is obvious that the adversary is waging a war against the family, and I am so grateful for the "warning" of the proclamation.

As hard as it is, both emotionally and financially, to be a stay-at-home mom, I know how important it is. It truly is a "faith-based work". I only hope that I can overcome my weaknesses and be a better mother, so that my time with my kids will not be wasted...so that they understand their place in the plan, and the importance of eternal families.

I am grateful to my own mother, as well as my Aunt Joyce, who have been two especially wonderful examples to me. I've mentioned before how my mom taught by example the importance of prayer and scripture study. Aunt Joyce was amazing at Family Home Evening, and I watched her make sacrifices her entire life so that she could be at home with her children. They were "brilliant in the basics" and I hope that I can be like them in so many ways.

Oh, and I applaud whichever of my cousins taught their children to play "Family" instead of "House" because that is how it should be.