Preparing for baby and some anxious rambling

For Family Home Evening last night, I downloaded some baby care video clips to show to the boys. We learned about diapering, home safety, car seat safety, newborn sleep patterns, bathing, and swaddling (a.k.a. the burrito wrap).

Then we had the boys crawl around on the floor and search for things the baby might put in his mouth. They were quite surprised at the number of marbles/coins/lego's they found, but were happy to pick them up for the baby's sake. I think they will actually be more careful now.

When Todd went downstairs to check on the kids after bedtime, their Webkinz animals were all "swaddled" in pillowcases or towels.

I think they're ready :o)

I, on the other hand, am starting to get paranoid.

I'm afraid of my water breaking in the middle of sacrament meeting and having to walk down the aisle gushing water all the way.

I'm worried about the head being so big I'll need a c-section.

And most of all, I'm terrified of having to deliver in the van because we are so far away from the hospital.

I can't tell you how many birth stories I've heard lately (of people I know) who wouldn't have made it the 2 hours and 15 minutes that I have to go to get to the hospital.

In the past, I've had plenty of time, but my water has never broken. Since I'm usually sitting at 3-4 cm. dialated for several weeks before the birth, it makes me nervous to think of how fast it could go if my water were to break. With Caleb I went from 7-10 cm. in seconds.

All of my babies so far have had "need" to be in the hospital when they were born.

Brayden was facing the wrong way and was caught behind my bone. After 1 1/2 hours of pushing, the doctor stuck his arm "in" up to his elbow (or so it seemed) and realized that the baby was "sunny-side-up", and then used forceps to "unhook" him from where he was caught. At that point I was able to push him right out, but Todd certainly couldn't have delivered him in a car...

Caleb was born with the cord around his neck and had to be resuscitated. It took him several minutes to breathe. The doctor actually had to cut his cord as soon as his head came out...before his shoulders came. Once again, we do not have the right equipment (or knowledge) in our car.

When Dillon was born, the amniotic fluid was cloudy, rather than clear, and the placenta had a streak of infection in it. He ended up needing oxygen, and then was taken to NICU for antibiotics.

I also don't like the idea of an epidural, and yet I have NO desire to do it without. With Brayden I couldn't feel ANYTHING at all. No pressure...nothing. Caleb's epidural was perfect, and with Dillon it only worked on one side. That was miserable because I wanted to get up and move around for the pain, but couldn't because one side was numb. So, out of three epidurals, only one worked like it was supposed to.

Having said that, though, I LOVE how calm things are after the epidural. It's like a date since the kids are somewhere else, and I love just spending that time alone with Todd, anticipating our little one with minimal discomfort.

With my first miscarriage, I went through labor just like it's described in the books. I think it's because it was a blighted ovum that made it different from my other miscarriages. Anyway, it's the only time in my life that I truly thought I might die...and I didn't care because at least the pain would be gone. My contractions got closer, my water broke, my legs were numb and I was shaking uncontrollably. I gave birth to a "product of pregnancy". The part I didn't have to deal with was tearing or stitches...but it doesn't sound too pleasant to do that without medication.

The one thing that would make me consider doing it again is the adrenaline rush I had after it was all over. I went from being in the most pain I've ever been in, to feeling like I could run a marathon in a matter of seconds. It was amazing.

And yet, I still prefer the pain-free way.

But, if my blood platelets have gone back down, or if I end up delivering in the car I won't have the choice.

I kind of like having the choice.

Todd definitely likes having the choice.

And so I sit and stew. I like to plan, and with babies you really can't plan. I am grateful for all of our friends and neighbors who have volunteered to help us, even in the middle of the night, because the chances of Mom being here at the right time are not likely. I know we'll be taken care of.

But please, pray for me to make it to the hospital. Or at least to have cell service to call an ambulance if needed.

There is a hospital that is only 50 minutes away from us, but I've had an ultrasound and non-stress test there every week for the past month, and I've only ever seen ONE baby there. And there's only ever been ONE labor and delivery nurse on duty. And there aren't any OB/GYN's...just family doctor's. They're not very busy. I guess that could work to my advantage because maybe I would get more care and attention, but I think I prefer a doctor and a hospital that does this every day. I'm a fan of experience. Especially with my history. If my water breaks on it's own, though, I'll probably head there anyway.

I guess that's enough rambling for today. If you made it to the end of this...bless your heart. Thanks for listening.