A pathetic little pity party

I am tired.

Tired of nagging my kids.

Tired of having a messy house, even though it feels like all I do is clean.

Tired of people calling to see when their quilt will be done.

Tired of five people living in two bedrooms, and one bathroom.

Tired of school debt that makes it so we'll never "get ahead"...at least not while our kids are home.

Tired of the problems in our economy.

Tired of gas prices.

Tired of living so far from stores.

Tired of living so far from family.

Tired of having so many house projects.

Tired of working so hard on our house, but nobody ever see's it.

Tired of having supplies for a shed that we don't know how to build.

Tired of having a half finished bathroom that we don't know how to finish.

Tired of having an unfinished bedroom that we need, but don't have the time or money to finish.

Tired of Todd working overtime without getting paid because he's on salary.

Tired of cancer...if my father-in-law were around, he'd be here helping us.

Tired of making plans that don't happen.

Tired of trying to grow a garden in a place that doesn't have a long enough growing season.

Tired of not having my dad around to help me with gardening.

Tired of not having my mom around to help me make window treatments.

Tired of not having fabric stores around.

Tired of a hormone imbalance that causes me to forget things.

Tired of the medicine that makes me gain weight.

Tired of not exercising for a million different reasons.

Tired of not going to the temple because we live so far, and don't know who to have watch our kids for 8 hours at a time.

Tired of procrastinating.

Tired of fighting the special ed. system in the schools.

Tired of food prices going up.

Tired of cooking dinner.

Tired of cooking anything.

Tired of not having air conditioning.

Tired of weeding.

I'm just tired.

My parents were going to come visit this weekend, and help us put new windows in the livingroom (so they'll open and we can have a breeze). The local hardware store faxed the order to the factory, and it sat on someones desk until AFTER the truck had left, so our windows won't be here until next week. Now my parents aren't coming. We see them every other month or so, but I just get so tired of living so far away. I need my dad to tell me what to plant in my flowerbeds. I need my mom to help me make curtains and help me figure out how to organize my life. I need my sister-in-laws to "play" with sometimes. I need cousins for my kids. I need a babysitter so we can go to the temple. I need a date with my husband.

My mother-in-law was going to come visit in two weeks, and now she has to have her gall bladder removed instead. I talk to her for hours on the phone each week, but it's not the same as having her here in my livingroom. She lives so far away and with the gas prices we just can't afford to go to Washington as often as I'd like. She was going to take us school shopping. It's always fun when she's around....probably because she NEVER has pity parties for herself. She's always positive.

Oh, and I just realized it's been a year (today) since my last miscarriage.

And now my pity party is done. If you're full of happy, wonderful thoughts about how blessed you are, and how blessed I am (and I know very well that I am)....come back another day because today I'm feeling sorry for myself.

Tomorrow will be better.